Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures
by Kokiri-Hylian-Hero
Summary: The chibi adventures are shadows of Linkle's team's legends! With gust bellows, random crossovers with other fandoms the author is a fan of, references to pop culture, memes, bad puns, and, of course, much parodying! Credit: Majora moon-sized thanks to The Unplanner for a MEGATON of these ideas, inspirations, and suggestions! Rated T for Theatrical chaos!
1. Legend of Linkle: CGA 1

**Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures**

 **Linkle: Assassin of the Precursor, Descendant of That Same Contriver**

Tingle looked down upon the world, and saw Hyrule in the green orb that sat upon his table. The crystal ball had taken on that color after the prophecy of the Goddess Sword was fulfilled, and he bound his soul to the place that the Hero would travel to defeat Demise for the second and first time. The contradictions of time space were clear to Tingle, his mind able to comprehend it as no mortal before, because his soul was as a fairy, charged to aid the Hero. He smiled. Like the gods, the Great Fairies were left with few choices to aid the Hero in, and all the immortals knew and saw the future he would create, but he was a necessary evil for them.

He saw a time where the Hero would not be born into, the Age Without the Hero, the Age of Choice, in which the dark fairy Tingle, who would be long cast down from his place and several times reborn, would be able to influence, the day when he would, at long last, reclaim his birthright and become the Dark Fairy Prince, but before then, he would safeguard a descendant with a fraction of his power, born of cursed blood from a blessed beginning, to grant him his choice, to put the power to Become into his hands! And the Rite of Becoming would give him such power, that Demise would give him his dark blessing!

Tingle clasped his hands tightly and set his plans into motion.

Just as predicted, he strayed after the prophecy fulfilled and was shot down, his greatness sealed somewhere, but his bloodline would be the key to unlocking it. Oh, yes, Tingle had but collect power from Rupees—how the foolish mortals used that power as currency made his blood boil—and bide his time.

Thousands of years passed. How ironic, that one called wicked by the gods could be as patient as a saint. Several times he was forced to shed his skin, thoroughly convinced that he wanted to be a fairy, and wanted to make maps, he forgot his choice, and was stuck with the consequences. Of course, he knew that would happen, and then he would remember and that would be it, he would gather Demise into his arms, and absorb him, and become a god, then—using Demise's to help him reach such a point memory—fight and slay every god and every god that became mortal, and their descendants, and then obliterate the authority of races and let monsters rule the world.

But something happened, his bloodline was cursed to be like him, to want to be like the Hero, but the Hero was confused by Tingle's lives as a fairy, which completely threw his purpose, apparently his blood was the same, born with such potent potential, Linkle could strike down the Golden Goddesses or enslave them and turn them on their creation if she so wished, but instead...instead she rebelled against her purpose and chose to fight as the Hero, wanting not to be like him in power or origin, but in deed and spirit.

And so she did, to Tingle's chagrin.

"Linkle," Tingle marched up to her, green fire in the footprints he left, a green light emanating from his form—he was more powerful just in her presence, the wait to see what he could do with that power sent chills along his skin—and he held out his hand in offering, "fight alongside me, together we can rule, as father and daughter...great-great-great-great times a thousand times grandfather."

"W-what?" Linkle reached down and pulled her crossbows from their place on her boots, "Who are you and what do you mean?"

"I am Tingle, a fairy cursed and blighted until now, an ancient prophecy foretold this era...there is no Hero here...only choice." fire erupted from his offered hand and her smiled wickedly, "The choice is yours, aid me, or yield the power of your soul to me!"

"Um, I hate to burst your bubble, but I actually _am_ the Hero!" Linkle replied cheerfully, and pointed her thumb to the compass hanging from her neck...or at herself. Tingle couldn't tell.

"Aw, as defective as I'd hoped." Tingle mused, as a red balloon inflated behind him and lifted him in the air. He wouldn't need balloons to fly after this.

"Did you say 'effective', because you didn't sound like it, I could've sworn that was an insult!" Linkle's narrowed eyes bespoke the understanding she had. Just like Tingle, she understood things easily...one way to know.

"Oh, well, then, prove it...read this book!" Tingle smiled as he handed it to her, and he tested her later. The test took days, but she answered his questions with a hundred percent accuracy.

Perfect, that meant he could absorb her power.

Except...he couldn't! He didn't know why, but after trying to absorb her soul, he was attacked by her and she shot his balloon. At least apparently it hurt and perhaps weakened her, so he focused on hurting her by trying to absorb her soul, which might end up yielding her soul in the end.

Tingle fell to her skills, though, and his power drained from him into a powerful relic shaped as a heart, which she absorbed by holding upright.

"Tell me, how is it that your mind didn't shatter and you didn't burst into flames from the knowledge of the book, yet you weren't absorbed instantly even though you comprehended the book?" Tingle inquired.

"I don't know, to be honest, I couldn't really wrap my head around what the 'multiverse' theory was, and I don't know what defines 'space time', and I also don't know what a 'prescience orb' is, or how the 'time curving gravity manipulation device' allowed the right hand of the Demon King Demise to take the Goddess Reborn to the past...or how any of that works...and you never explained what the 'quantum mechanic' thing is, I'm just glad I didn't have to know that stuff to pass!"

"What?! Demise's soul...of course! That book wasn't for the uninitiated! You understand how it works, yet not the basic mechanisms...which meant you aren't of use to me until you learn it so I can take possession of your soul, reclaim my former glory, and destroy the universe!"

"Whoa! Grumpy...someone needs to be sealed!"

"Roar!"

"Did you seriously yell-" Tingle interrupted her with a body slam, but the gold light from her compass burned him, he couldn't alter his course because of the quantum path he generated that allowed him to "home in" on his target, though he reached escape velocity anyways, so he was going to hit her anyways...he just didn't want to risk a miss.

The compass somehow disrupted that path and accelerated him in the other direction, leaving the mortal unharmed and him on his back.

"Finishing blow!" Linkle yelled, and jumped up into the air, her bows building power as she spun through the air and then crashed on him. The impact from the bows blasted his energy field containment—his body—and sent his soul scattering, then blasting back to the impact center, the last thing he heard as his soul was pulled into the Nopeverse—from which the arrowheads used by Linkle to kill him same from—was Linkle's voice. Perfect irony, he thought, with a smile.

"Requiescat in pace...precursor." Linkle whispered as she held her fading ancestor.

After he was gone, Linkle rose as she pulled her hood up, and walked away.

 **Mini Author's Notes: Special thanks to mysteriousguy898 for this one! He came up with the wicked theory that Linkle was Tingle's descendant, and I used it as the center for this mini fic! Also, the Nopeverse is something that developed while private messaging.**

* * *

 **Of Linebeck's Greatest Invention.**

Linkle drew up a lot of silly things in her early childhood, but hr teenage years did have some more interesting than bizarre ideas, but even to her they seemed too fantastic.

Linebeck, though, was a genius. Which explained his egocentricity, and he knew it; but he knew he was a genius and proved it or asserted it and convinced people it was real.

One day Linkle decided to go through some old artwork, and brought the old stuff to Malron, who was trying to sweep the mayor's lodge's kitchen, "Hey, Malron, look at this!"

Malron turned and sighed, "Linkle, pretty busy...oh, what's that?"

Linkle grinned as Malron's interest in the folder she carried reached critical levels, "Come on! Sit down with me!"

Malron was almost done...but at this rate she'd have to pick up tomorrow, unless her dad miraculously came back from harvesting mushrooms in the woods and delivering milk, in which case he would be home in time for dinner and she wouldn't have to go retrieve him. She just prayed to the Golden Goddesses that he didn't get those two mixed up, or not only would he deliver the milk first, but if he fell asleep for hours at a time during both chores, he would also be in the woods come nightfall, and she'd prefer him to camp inside the castle.

After thinking about it, she'd rather pick up tomorrow than refuse Linkle so she left the broom where it was. She borrowed it from the resident apothecary and had two days to use and return it before the master potion mixer retrieved it herself...or sent her not so masterful apprentice to fetch it.

"So, what's this?" Malron asked, pushing her worries to a side of the mental table where they'd be overshadowed by her curiosity.

"You don't remember?" Linkle asked, "Gust...come on, you can do this!"

Malron did remember.

" _It's so boring, why'd I have to sweep?" Linkle demanded._

" _Well, I moped, and now I'm dusting, so why are you complaining?" Malron wondered._

" _It's still so boring and tiring, and the floor's just going to get messy all over again!" Linkle pointed out._

" _Look, as annoying as it is, it's not like some gust will bellow through the windows and send this stuff out through the door!"_

"Gust bellows...you were so difficult back then." Malron laughed.

"True...I just wanted to play with the cuccos...that's why I do my job so well!" Linkle beamed with pride as she thought of the fine work she did with tending her cuccos.

"You do. So, what are you going to do with all this stuff?"

"I don't know...I guess I'll let Linebeck use his pulp machine to turn this paper back into pulp to be turned into paper again." Linkle sighed.

"You know we can hang it, frame it." Malron suggested.

"Nah, I've got my memories in here." Linkle pointed at her head and then frowned and pointed at her heart, "Or here? Hmm, I'll ask Linebeck sometime."

"I like to think that you feel the memory in your heart and see it with your eyes." Malron smiled, "But you'll really donate all your doodles like that?"

"Well...I had fun while it lasted, but this stuff just hangs around, and I don't need this to remember that I had fun, I'd rather live in the present, where the action's at!" Linkle slammed her fist into her palm, and then looked down to find she tore a hole in the body of the gust bellow's concept art, "Eh, I was clingy before...I can let this go now, though, and besides, Linebeck's invention will keep the forests from being chopped down for more paper, which means more time for trees to grow, it's like the cute little birds have more home locations, plus we got _that_ much more firewood for winter!"

Malron smiled. Linkle really had grown up, but then, she imagined she did, too, she just noticed it less, "I'm glad you feel that way, I'll also remember your crazy ideas...come on, let's go visit Linebeck."

Malron decided to forget sweeping altogether and went to Linebeck's store with Linkle, and found Talron asleep in the fields, so lugged him into the carriage and left him outside the castle gates with one of the notes Malron had written before in anticipation of this kind of situation, then strolled back to the plaza and found Linebeck's store.

"We have to stop by the bakery on our way back," Linkle commented, "it's been a while since I had something sweet."

"Two nights ago I baked a pie, remember?" Malron remarked.

"Exactly, forty-eight hours is _way_ too long!" Linkle sighed, "Nine hours is bad enough."

Malron chuckled, opened the door, and nudged Linkle through the doorway, "Fair point, after this I'm getting a pastry." something her dad wouldn't sneak into the kitchen to eat as a midnight snack, but she would bring him something.

"Linebeck!" Linkle called out, "Here, remlit, remlit!"

"Linkle, he's not a remlit...besides, those things went extinct thousands of years ago, if we even know for certain that they existed!" Malron sighed, "But if they did exist, we really should have brought them back, early records indicate they were cute."

Linebeck ran into the room from a doorway to the side and greeted the girls, "My favorite costumers! Got any sand? I just realized that I running out for glass, so it'd be very fortunate!"

"Sorry, how many this time?" Malron inquired, "Same as last?"

"Yes! I'm on the verge of a better mixture that'll enhance the durability of my bottles!" Linebeck turned back to the girls after quickly straightening the ship in a bottle he was working on for Aryll, whenever she came back, "Oh, uh, why are you two here, again?"

"Paper!" Linkle replied, presenting the short stack to him.

"Oh, great, this plus my other reams should be enough for the first trial run!" Linebeck cried, accepting the stack and turning to leave with it, "Oh, uh, and I suppose you saw the sign up front, a green Rupee for every couple of sheets, so bring back anymore for a quick Rupee, looks like you gave me ten...eleven, hmm, hmm...fourteen, okay...some of these are stuck."

"Yeah," Linkle blushed and chuckled nervously, "funny thing about paint...it doesn't dry, I was eight when I learned that. I can't even remember what I drew."

"You were into finger paints at the time." Malron remarked, "One was stick figures of you, your sister, your grandma, and me and my dad, the other two were boats."

"Right, I remember...I drew you and you thought your hair was supposed to be on fire." Linkle recalled.

Linebeck pulled out a blue Rupee and two green ones, and handed them to Linkle, "Thanks for contributing to my research, kid...oh, and, uh, what's this?"

Linkle turned to the drawing of the gust bellows and she laughed, "Gust bellows, Linebeck, they blast air through the narrow end and out the funnel, something I named after something Malron said one time."

"You know, this could work! Come back in a week, and bring the old hag who's broom you borrow all the time!" Linebeck laughed, "Oh, and the sand, too!"

A week later and Maple Syrup's owner and her apprentice followed Linkle and Malron to Linebeck's shop.

"Glad you could all make it!" Linebeck cried, standing gleefully in the middle of the plaza, which attracted much attention, "Behold, my greatest invention! The gust bellows!"

The old lady with them whacked Linebeck upside the head, "That was the cucco girl's idea!"

"Ow...I know, but I invented a way for it to work, hence 'invention', witch."

Another whack, "That's _Miss_ Witch!"

"Ow, Miss Witch, stop hitting me! I'm warning you, I'll press charges!" Linebeck hated threatening someone's money, and hated having to reschedule because of legal reasons.

 _Almost_ another whack, but Syrup's apprentice stayed her hand, "Hey, no need to whack his brain bruised, you know? We kind of need him to have a fully functioning noggin, or we'll be out of bottles for potions and start having to make people bring their old bottles!"

The master witch considered it, the nodded, Maple let go of her hand, and then Linebeck and Maple _both_ got a whack.

"Now, if that's enough violence for today," Linebeck growled, "could I please have a volunteer for this vehicle?"

"Vehicle?" Linkle parroted.

"Yes, I'm glad you asked, young lady!" Linkle lost Linebeck at "glad you asked", and wondered if Syrup gave him amnesia at "young lady", but before she could ask, Linebeck carried on, "This is a viable replacement for brooms! A powerful gust that _is_ a broom, except a hundred times bet-"

Linkle winced Syrup whacked Linebeck upside the head with her broom, and then grabbed the gust bellows and pulled the lever after aiming for Linebeck, who almost got a chance to ask what she was doing before he landed in the water, "Wow, powerful and intuitive!" Syrup smiled and held her thumb up.

"Uh...you know, you're selling it, Miss Syrup." Maple remarked.

"That's right ladies and gentlemen, it's so intuitive, even that old hag who never leaves her cave can use it!" Linebeck shouted, climbing up the port and coughing up water.

"Let me help you dry of, Sonny." Linebeck almost didn't look up in time to get blasted with a gust of wind, and hand to hold onto the space between the planks to stay out of the water, "Wow, floating like a flag! So much power, all in the pull of a lever!"

"T-that's right, and only five hundred Rupees!" Linebeck yelled.

"All this power can be mine for just five hundred Rupees?!"

"That's right, just f-five hundred Rupees!"

"Give me, Syrup!" Maple pulled the machine out of Syrup's hands and shut the device off.

"And look how efficiently it dries clothes!" Syrup yelled.

"Actually, they would have dried like that anyways." Maple muttered.

"Works like a charm!" Syrup chirped.

"You heard it here first!" Linebeck straightened the wrinkles in his clothes and approached the witches, but Syrup's smile filled him with apprehension, "And this woman knows her charms."

"Sure do, but I also know a little about science." Syrup smiled, "After all, some magic is just science we don't understand!"

"I resent that!" Linebeck crossed his arms like he was five and then his jaw dropped as Syrup—who had taken the gust bellows and flipped it so Maple was holding it funnel end down, then pushed the lever up, which blasted Maple and the gust bellows up.

"Wow, it really _is_ better than a broom!"

 **Mini Author's Notes: A reference to the vacuum cleaner that Maple rides in OoA and OoS, and the not very conventional uses of the gust bellows from Skyward Sword...also, Syrup will refuse to pay for that gust bellows.**

* * *

 **The World's Greatest Hero**

Linkle walked the hottest desert and the coldest desert, climbed the highest mountain and stumbled through the thickest jungle, swam the wide ocean and fought countless beasts, it all led to this moment!

There was a starving captain who needed a bottle of Malron's homemade soup, and it was personal, for that captain was Linkle's sister, Aryll.

It was obvious she hadn't eaten in a long time, she was scraggly and had five hundred hour shadow, which was strange because she wasn't a man. Upon closer inspection Linkle realized the fierce and hardy captain was not indeed sporting any facial hair, but an actual shadow on her face at five hundred hours that did it's best to look like facial hair.

"Aryll, I've got you covered!" Linkle cried over the raging winds. Aryll was on her back outside the village, "Aryll, don't worry!"

"What?!" Aryll sat up and rubbed her eyes, "Linkle, what are you doing?!"

"I'm saving you! Here, soup!" Linkle held out the bottle and Aryll rolled her eyes.

"This is most unnecessary." Aryll remarked sternly, but she couldn't be serious for long, after all, her older sister was someone she looked up to, and if Linkle smiled then it was only a matter of seconds before it spread from one end of the room to the other, especially if that room only consisted of her or Malron, Linkle's smile was especially potent when she had one person to infect, "Thanks, Big Sis, but really, don't worry about me."

"That's like telling Zoras not to swim! Gorons not to roll! Kokiri to not be childish!" Linkle thought about that a moment and pulled out her map, "Whoops, I don't know where that last one came from."

"Yeah, yeah, I get the idea, it's in your nature." Aryll sighed.

"Exactly, you're looking at the number one Hero, assigned by the gods to save the world and get things done!"

Aryll wasn't sure about being the actual Hero, but Linkle would always be the Hero of Kakariko to her. Not that she would fuel her sister's ambitions, but it wasn't like Linkle would actually need to try to be the Hero, "You and your delusions of grandeur."

"Come on, Scraggly, Malron has food and a good captain can't sail on an empty stomach!" Linkle didn't have to drag Aryll along, she just wished one day to be like Linkle.

 **Mini Author's Notes: Alright, we're looking at possibly a bunch more of these things in the future, and your suggestions are always welcome!**


	2. LoL: Chibi Great Adventures 2

**Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures**

 **Super-Leveling**

Ganondorf broke from his seal on a fateful, dark evening. Many fates unwound that night, but this tale of good and evil demands focus of one in particular, the prelude to a struggle.

He rode his stallion of midnight to Castle Town, the fog parted slightly, enough so that any who looked upon him scurried back inside the city. Yes, he looked sufficiently evil, but that was not enough.

Ganondorf dismounted his vengeful steed, and turned to the capital of Hyrule. Times changed since last he walked the darkened streets, the occasional lamp permissive to the eye's wonder of the signs outside the shops that littered the town.

There was plenty of time for him to clean this city later. He passed many night owls, most had some sort of device that hugged their ears and arched over their heads.

Ganondorf saw someone opening an odd, smooth surfaced body, Ganondorf would think that it was comprised mostly of magic, the rest would be water and whatever the wheels constituted these days. He made inquiries of a gym, and went in the direction indicated.

* * *

A bell announced the door's opening, Ganondorf was surprised to hear it, as he expected silence, but to see something that was not strange and unnaturally bright was mildly heartening.

He turned to the voice of a girl talking. He was told there was a gym here.

Blonde in a white t-shirt, orange skirt, and brown boots. It was strange how he noticed colors now, but seeing endless white made him appreciate the variety found in Hyrule. She stepped behind the desk and gestured for him to approach as she continued to talk to no one but her light up rectangle that had more magic than the average Hylian ever did.

"Uh-huh, yeah, sure, we deliver to businesses." she seemed to be receiving echoes through the device, and Ganondorf instantly had many questions, if ever she stopped talking to the person who was, he surmised, somehow linked her to another, similar device somewhere else.

"Ha, ha, I'll see you then!" with that conversation concluded, the blonde who now manned the desk turned to him with eyes that gave him many flashbacks. Blue eyes an arm's length from him were always the last things he saw before closing his, before reopening them to endless light, "Welcome to Golden Triangle Pizza, how may I help you?"

"May I use your gym?"

The girl smiled, though she seemed to struggle against it, "I take it you don't mean the virtual gym linked to this location? I'm bad at directions, so I'll just use my phone here." she opened up that magical construct and slid her finger along the surface, "Savvy, where's the gym?"

In reply, the phone said, after a brief ring, "Out the door and all the way to the left!"

"That was hopefully detailed enough, but I remember a sign with weights hanging above the door-"

"Thank you." he turned quickly, interrupting her, and marched toward the door.

"You're welcome!"

* * *

Ganondorf passed various shops along his way, and five minutes later he saw the building, which was the only building with signs like the ones back in the olden days, with wooden cutouts of an item representative of their services.

He opened the door of his destination and looked around the room. There were a five other people in the room, one was that guy he got bad directions from.

"I believe we've met." Ganondorf growled.

"Oh, dude! You meant this kind of gym!"

"Yes, I meant this kind of gym."

"You didn't look like you need a gym!" the kid said defensively, "I thought you meant the game!"

Ganondorf didn't reply, instead he removed his headgear.

"You, uh...can keep the headphones." Ganondorf winced at the name, but donned the strange object as the boy extracted a box from his pocket and nodded approvingly at the music he heard. There was something he saw through the glass that seemed to be moving, the black paper inside had two rolls, one was larger than the other and only getting bigger, while the other was thin, "You can rewind it-"

"Nettlesome fool!" Ganondorf held his ears as a whiny, demonic voice whispered curses in his ears, he was sure it was a challenger for his position, so he braced himself and willed the voice to silent, and eventually it died, all at once. Ganondorf then noticed that the paper was wound around one spool more, while another was left bare, "Oh."

Ganondorf realized that it somehow restored the paper to the beginning, but what demon was singing in the music, he didn't know.

"There, now the tape's back at the beginning."

"Ah." Ganondorf nodded and turned to his goal.

There were several weights, and no way he could fail.

Within a day, he transformed the castle, and had the gym moved to Ganondorf's Tower, he even stole some red head's pizza, though the girl from the pizza place looked especially bitter. He paid it no mind.

* * *

"So," Malron huffed, watching as the green cloaked archer climbed the wall of Ganon's Tower, "the plan is to knock on the door and ask him to give back the stolen stuff?"

"Nah, the plan's to waltz in like we own the place, and demand he return those stole goods, pay for the pizza, and give me a tip." Linkle would have smacked one hand into another but she was busy scaling a tower at the moment.

"And if he refuses?" Malron wondered.

"Let me kick down that door when we get to it!" Linkle continued climbing and Malron followed her.

They climbed through the window to find Zelda encased in some purple shield and a wall, with her was a strange, cylindrical machine that Linkle had never seen, "Uh, Malron, is that thing dangerous?"

"No, it's also not generating that purple energy field, no, what Zelda's trapped with is a Nopeverse field generator, capable of pulling the Nope into it." Malron frowned as Linkle started giggling.

"Sorry, that's just a crazy name! So, what _is_ a Nope?"

"All demons are Nope, they tend to bring darkness and evil clouds, after analyzing the magic artifacts that 'slay' or 'seal' demons, we were able to create devices that generate a Nopeverse field, when created, a demon is trapped, when disrupted, the demon is sealed, in the Eras With No Hero, we must be able to fend of hordes of demons, thus the Nopeverse was discovered and utilized."

"I thought the Sages did a thing."

"The Sages are...often inaccessible."

"Oh. Is Ganondorf a Nope?"

"I don't know, Zelda has a Nopefield generator, though, so...maybe, maybe it's a coincidence."

"I'll climb the wall and scramble across the beams, cover me!" Linkle started climbing the wall.

"There are always Keese." Malron sighed.

* * *

Linkle found that Malron was very good at location and handling the Keese before they were trouble, meanwhile Ganondorf, wearing headphones, remained on his treadmill, increasing the speed often.

Linkle glanced down at Zelda, who held up her phone. Linkle pulled out the telescope Aryll gave her before hitting the Great Seas again, and found that Zelda had written out text for her, there was also a "no signal" icon, which explained why she didn't just text Linkle.

"That guy with red hair is a demon, but he trapped me and the Nopefield generator behind some purple energy field, the only way to disrupt it is to distract him!" the text message read.

"Okay!" Linkle yelled, falling onto Ganondorf, kicking him upside the head.

"What?!" Ganondorf roared, his broken focus on the treadmill resulting in his falling backwards, then an arrow hit him in the knee of his boot.

Linkle backed away and pulled out my phone, "Savvy, my crossbows!"

A brief ring and the phone called out, "Look out!" and the bows fell into Linkle's grasp.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Ganondorf roared, finding his feet, "You're not him...but you look enough like him...that I can take out all my rage on you!"

Linkle unleashed rapid fire, using the bows explosive functions keep Ganondorf guessing, but he was quickly closing the gap. She watched him carefully. He transformed into a pig and rushed her, she turned back to find Zelda cast Nayru's Love, then focused on Ganon, "Here, piggy, piggy!"

"I'm going to kill you!" Ganon roared.

"Nope!" Linkle chimed, jumping out of the way, "get Noped, dude!"

She heard the shatter of glass and a piggish squeal. She rolled and turned to find Ganondorf on his side, Zelda was still in a Nayru's Love shield, and the Nopefield generator was generating a Nopefield.

"That should keep him occupied for another...hundred or so years." Zelda sighed, "Anyways, since he remodeled my father's castle, I'll have to hire Mutoh and Sons to-"

"Sorry, but Your Highness is in another castle!" Linkle announced, tossing her crossbows up and snapping her fingers to store them, "I guess if you like the goth look, though-"

"Curse you! Curse you, Zelda, don't think this is the last time I show up, in this world or others!" Ganondorf screamed, "Curse you, Linkle! I'll see you in the next world over!"

"Nope!" Linkle smiled.

"Curse you Malon!" Ganondorf continued

"Malron!" Malron snapped.

"Marin!" Ganondorf tried again.

"Malron!" Malron's face was the color of her hair right now, and with an intense rage etched into it.

"Curse you, Malrin...Marlin! Henceforth, mispronouncing your name will be a running gag for newcomers!" Ganondorf laughed.

"Malron! Get it right!" Ganondorf laughed as he faded, and his echoes followed shortly after.

"Well...Linkle, Malron, you've saved the kingdom...no, the world!" Zelda said as she flipped a switch on the Nopefield generator, "Tradition mandates a reward, and I hear Ganondorf stole your pizza that you were going to eat at the gym, so...pizza party at my place?"

 **Mini Author's Notes: There were go, more Nope lore and Ganondorf's Super-Leveling! Also, the Super-Leveling event is inspired by a fanfic by mysteriousguy898, in which Ganondorf changes tactics, titled "Power Is Not Strength", this is me just taking Ganondorf's new plan in a strange, chibified (is that a word? Somebody go make that a word. Or a Word, I'm easy.) direction!**

* * *

 **In Which Linkle Is The Assassin (But Actually A Sheikah, Because The Author Has An Unfulfilled Fanfic, And mysteriousguy898 Said To Go For It)**

Target confirmed. Hawkeye allowed her to see her target. Linkle walked alongside her partner on the other side of the building and knew where she was being led, so she took a moment to slow down and make sure no one was following her.

She let Malron get far ahead of her before walking with as much calm as she could muster, admittedly, not a whole lot, but she didn't draw attention to herself.

Eventually she swaggered into the building and pulled down her hood, "Shall we get down to business, then?"

Malron nodded and turned to Aryll, who was dressed in her Gerudo captain disguise, "The castle is heavily guarded and they expect heavy hits from all sides. That's where you come in, Big Sis."

"Aryll confirmed that the Resistance is inside, and ready to make some noise, all spotlights will be on them," Malron pointed at a map on the desk, you'll climb up here after Aryll reveals her ship's location by launching a giant bomb plant and firing her cannons, you'll move in and find me fighting Ganondorf, you job is to in there, and-"

" _Do what I do." Linkle confirmed._

" _Yes." Malron replied._

Linkle fell from a building and rolled to her feet, and pulled up her hood.

" _I'll call in the flock."_

Cuccos flew out ahead of her and took down the army of Gerudo blocking her path, she ran to a ledge, shot a hole in the wall with a bomb, and leapt off the ledge to land on the ruined wall, then bounced down onto Ganondorf, who had just been struck by a yellow blast of energy that Malron deflected with a bottle.

" _Question, though."_

" _What, Linkle?"_

" _May I speak Italian?"_

" _Do what you must."_

Linkle's fork would later go on to be called the Triumph Fork, the rumor would grow beyond the Sheikah, and people would would accidentally refer to it while talking about the Triforce.

" _Requiescat in pace," she paused for emphasis, "Dragmire."_

Linkle fell into Lake Hylia, followed by the rest of her flock.

 **Mini Author's Notes: Linkle's hood shouldn't look so Assassin, but it does, and she dual wields crossbows—just like an Assassin dual wields Hidden Blades. The flock thing Linkle says is a parody of AC: Syndicate's trailer when the brother protagonist says, he'll call the lads. mysteriousguy898 pointed out that Hawkeye could be Zelda version of Eagle Vision, awesome idea!  
**

* * *

 **In Which Malron Is Malon's Extreme...And Linkle Is The (Perfect) Hero**

Linkle was tired of Malron thinking about a prince or knight or whatever sweeping her off her feet, so one day while Malron was daydreaming and sleepwalking in it, and Linkle was sweeping, she shrugged and went for it.

She held her broom firmly, waited for Malron's shadow to fall on the chair, and swept the broom and herself in a circle, "Hi-ya!"

"What?!" Malron screamed.

Linkle twirled her broom around and smirked as she caught Malron, "There, happy now? I literally swept you off your feet!"

"It took you long enough!" Malron fumed.

"H-huh? I thought I'd have to run away or something." Linkle sighed, "Plus, I do ship us...like, if we were characters in that thing with Keaton, I'd be making fanart and saying how my ship's superior!"

"What's a ship?" Malron frowned, "And no, your sister had the best ship, it's the fastest in the fleet."

Talron burst through the door, chomping on mushrooms, "Linkle, someone let out the cuccos!"

Talron chuckled to himself, and Linkle scowled at him, and, before slamming the door, yelled, "Troll!"

 **Mini Author's Notes: Don't you wish Linkle had access to the internet?**

* * *

 **In Which Malron Is Marin's Extreme (Here We Go Again) Alternately, Here We Go!**

Malron would never admit it, ever, in all her life, but she was scared to death of heights, it's like if heights people, and those people knocked on the door, she'd barricade it with furniture, only to find one of them handing her a chair, she felt it in her bones.

Fortunately she could always depend on dear old dad to bring a ladder and _not_ fall asleep down at the base of the rock formation she was stuck on, especially while Linkle was off saving the world.

She was sure it was the end, but suddenly Linkle zipped over to her.

"Linkle!" Malron stole Linkle's patented Pounce Hug and held onto her, "My hero!"

"I missed you too, but you can't keep getting stuck on mountains!" Linkle joked.

This was one of those rare quiet moments, so Malron wasn't going to bring up the neighbors and their Gust Bellows.

"Hey!" a sudden voice shouted, "Linkle, Malron, what are you to doing up there?!"

How he was able to interrupt those moments was beyond Linkle, but she could always depend on him to wake up at this time, it was like a Moment alarm light went off in his head or something.

 **Mini Author's Notes: This is actually inspired from an old PM with mysteriousguy898, where we discussed Tarin interrupting Link and Marin's romance.  
**

* * *

 **Malron's Name**

"So, Big Sis," Aryll dropped down on the couch next to Linkle and watched her watch Malron set up some kind of old game console from the eighties, "um, just what is this?"

"While you were gone, Ganondorf showed up, and got Noped." Linkle explained, "In the end, there was pizza and games, and Zelda let us have this—it's a fossil, but one of the greatest games ever to feature time traveling sacred blades came out on this console, so a very, very, very special fossil."

"Okay, it's all plugged in!" Malron clapped her hands together and grabbed the old school controller.

They were welcomed to the title screen with the hero of the adventure on horseback, and they waited for ten minutes so they could watch the animation that often played if you didn't press any buttons, and then Linkle went to get some popcorn, and came back, and a second video played. The girls were hyped for the adventure of a lifetime.

"So, um, does anyone want to play this?" Malron offered the controller, but Linkle shook her head, "Okay. Oh, uh, I think I'll keep the character's name the same."

She accepted the name that had been set as default and moved on, to a narration that introduced them to the world, and "Lonk" came up in blue, "Obviously a glitch." Malron muttered.

Aryll frowned and turned to Malron, "Maybe you should find someone to exorcise this thing."

"Oh, it's not cursed!" Linkle assured, "It could be worse, the game could've called the hero Zelda!"

Then the main character's best friend, an ageless, green haired, chirpy girl, called Malron's character Ben. Something was _definitely_ wrong with that. Malron tried again, this time the girl called her "Malon", "Marin", "Malrin", and finally, "Marlin", at which point the trio went to find Syrup.

* * *

"Oh, I see...I wonder what would happen if he was a girl, though." Syrup grabbed the controller and the character called her by the appropriate name, "Did someone in particular curse you, Malron?"

"Yeah," Malron sighed, "he said if I just met someone, they'd always get my name wrong...looks like Ganondorf was right, even the game got my name wrong, and it doesn't even know my name."

"Only thing for it is to make the caster a bloody heap on the floor." Syrup sighed, "I'd do this for a fee, but it would be cheating because it has to be the one cursed, and if he's demon...it might not work."

* * *

And so Malron went down into the Nopeverse, a white expanse of nothing, and found Ganondorf. Not only was the place large, but it was also small, depending on who you were, Hylians could see vague walls in the distance, and find their way back up easily.

She found Ganondorf standing, in a stasis, and sighed. This was going to be painfully easy, and Linkle had even given her the compass she wore, either for good luck, or in case she couldn't find the entry point, she didn't know. Malron turned to where she left. For demons, it was a ceiling, but Hylians saw a door, and could adjust the center of gravity, turning the floor in into a roof or a wall.

* * *

Malron emerged from the floor, and grabbed the controller for the game, and the character called her by the protagonist's name.

"Ha, ha, you did it!" Linkle cheered.

"I knew you could do it!" Aryll added.

"Huh, what?!" Talron jumped awake and took stock of the situation, "Did you beat the final boss?"

"I knew you could tear Ganondorf's heart out, and feed it to him!" Syrup growled, vehemently.

"I have to admit, I doubted myself." Malron smiled and patted the compass for a moment before giving it back to Linkle, "I did get lost, fortunately I had this, thank you, Linkle."

"I'm glad it was useful...I just hate that it had to be." Linkle said somberly,.

"So...was it serious?" Talron wondered, having slept through the last ten minutes' development.

"Yes." Malron replied, then turned to the screen, perhaps the most serious fight of my-"

A silence descended upon the room as they took note of what the game was calling Malron, "Linkle", "You know, if you want, you can hang onto the compass."

"T-thanks, Linkle." Malron didn't know how, but someway, somehow, Linkle's compass kept Ganondorf's curse at bay. Linkle would never get used to waking up without it, though, so Malron returned it to her after the game was off.

 **Mini Author's Notes: I imagine Syrup to be very passionate about fighting.**


	3. Legend of Linkle: CGA 3

**Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures**

 **Lucky—In Which Malron Is Herself**

Linkle knocked heavily on the door of Talron's home and waited for Malron to answer it, "Hey, Malron!"

Malron smiled as she opened the door, "Hey, Linkle, Dad's just about to head to the forest to pick some mushrooms—and not eat them all, I hope!"

"I'll be fine." Talron assured, a sack in his hand to carry the mushrooms back, "I'll be in town the rest of the day, so Malron, you have to manage the place alone today."

"I've got it, but for now Linkle and I have some plans." Malron held up her finger before he added anything to this, "That you confirmed before you realized you slept two afternoons away and haven't restocked our apothecary."

"Oh, well, as long as they get done." Talron sighed, "I should be home about noon tomorrow if I don't fall asleep somewhere first."

"Love you, Dad, later!" Malron smiled as he jogged pass them, then turned to Linkle, "So...archery practice?"

"I thought you'd never ask!"

* * *

The day came and went without incident, Linkle and Malron tied the first round, and spent the rest of the session shooting each other's arrows to splinters, after that, Malron gave Linkle some cooking lessons. For once, it was just the two of them, Talron wouldn't interrupt them, nothing would go wrong.

"So, Linkle, I hope you're ready for dessert!" Malron pulled a pie out of the over and Linkle's jaw dropped.

"Oh, wow...Malron." was all that Linkle could find, this was going to be the best pie ever, she could tell, the crust screamed "flaky, buttery, yummy", and she almost did too. She gave herself credit for having more self-restraint than that, though.

"Well, I started on this before he figured out we were out of mushrooms, at this point, he's basically hiding from Syrup." Malron cut out to slices of pie, and gestured to the sitting room, "She knows he's away, too, I'm sure, or she'd have kicked the door down and search the place."

Linkle smiled, there were several reasons this would be the best pie ever.

* * *

They sat together and mostly focused on their dessert, but when it was over, they were left on the couch, together. Linkle turned to Malron and held a low, growling tone as she wondered what to say.

Before the idea even cast it's shadow, Malron had one of Linkle's hands in her own. Linkle felt the other hand on her shoulder and took a deep breath. Why was she so scared when she had beaten several monsters in her life?

She tried to think of a reason, and found that no such reason prevailed, Malron had been her best friend since as long as she could remember, Malron had always been there somewhere, and now it was just them.

Linkle held onto Malron's hand and rested her other hand on Malron's cheek. Linkle felt like their faces were pulling at each other, like gravity or polarity or something.

" _Attracted."_ Linkle felt like time had stopped, it was just them.

Then she heard the door opened.

"I'm home!"

* * *

Malron sat upright, and grabbed the plates to find out who was here, interrupting her moment with Linkle, "Who are you?"

Linkle followed and found a tall, lanky man with a mustache and affinity for green and purple, "I," the man began, "am Ingo, your ranch hand, I ran here as soon as your father found me and offered the job, you must be Malon."

"Malron." Malron corrected.

"Okay, Marin."

Ingo held out his hand and she shook it, "Please, just call me Manager, my name's just one of those things, you know?"

"Manager, got it." Ingo replied, "well, I should go and find the inn, I'll be at work in your father's place first thing in the morning!"

"Goodnight, Ingo." Malron waited until she hard footsteps echoing away from the path, then maybe a whistle noise as she clenched her fists.

"Um, I'll see you tomorrow, Mal," Linkle hugged Malron and backed up, "goodnight."

Malron calmed down. As bad as her father's timing was, she had to admit, she was lucky.

 **Mini Author's Note: So close...better luck next time!**

* * *

 **Lucky Dreamer**

Linkle felt like their faces were pulling at each other, like gravity or polarity or something.

" _Attracted."_ Linkle felt like time had stopped, it was just them.

Then she heard the door opened.

"Linkle, I'm home!"

* * *

Linkle rolled over and opened her eyes. She'd forgotten that she lived at the castle now, with the Sheikah who regularly guarded the halls.

"How did patrol go, fight anything?" Linkle inquired drowsily.

"Just the urge to run back here early!" Malron smirked.

Linkle yawned and sat up, "What time is it?"

"Oh, midnight, somewhere around there; I guess I woke you huh?" Malron smiled sheepishly.

"It's fine, I heard the door open." Linkle was a light sleeper anyways, but having her dreams interrupted generally annoyed her, but not when she woke up into a better reality, she thought it lucky.

 **Mini Author's Notes: This is because I _also_ wanted her to wake up, and so I made two of them.**

* * *

 **The Lucky Kiss**

Linkle felt like their faces were pulling at each other, like gravity or polarity or something.

" _Attracted."_ Linkle felt like time had stopped, it was just them.

Then she heard the door opened.

* * *

Talron managed to wrap up things early, and ran home as quickly as he could. Milk delivered, and mushrooms _not_ eaten up this time, Syrup would be impressed, maybe, but certainly surprised. He couldn't wait to see the look on his daughter's face when he returned early.

He opened the door to his home and the first thing he saw was Linkle embracing Malron, he dropped everything.

* * *

Linkle and Malron jumped when they noticed him, but at last he left them alone long enough for a kiss, for that much, they counted themselves lucky.

 **Mini Author's Notes: And that concludes the trilogy.**

* * *

 **Battleships**

Aryll loved to talk about ships, there were all different types of ships, schooners, flatboats, kayaks, battleships, Linkle stopped her there.

"That's me and Mal!" Linkle announced.

"Uh...you do realize that two people doesn't make a ship, right?" Aryll wondered.

"It means 'relationship', me and Mal are the _best_ ship... _ever_ , on land or sea!"

"Ships don't sail on land!"

"I know, that's why me and Mal are the superior ship!"

"Ha, I'll give you this, a love boat, maybe, but nothing like _Aloft_ , she's the best ship ever, and she's only getting better!"

The two paused as someone announced that they ship something, and Linkle shrugged noisily, eager to defend the title of 'Best Ship', "Yeah, well, can your ship...inverse color scheme?"

"What?"

* * *

Linkle brought Aryll to the port in Castle Town, and pointed at the blue ship with red trimmings, "See the color? The best ship can inverse color!"

"I...disagree." Aryll crossed her arms and frowned as Malron stepped behind Linkle, wearing a smug grin and a green dress, along with a belt with a gold buckle, and from there the green was orange, along with brown boots that weren't as high as Linkle's were. She cringed as Linkle removed her cloak, revealing a rd flower in her hair, a blue undershirt instead of the white she often wore, her skirt, Aryll noticed, was lavender, "You...seriously went to the trouble...to mix her usual dress with her blue sundress?"

"Hardcore shipping." the pair replied in unison, and proceeded to show off their one handed handshake, "We even swapped jewelry!"

"W-well...my ship can...sail...fast, too, it's the fastest ship in the Hylian Fleet!" Aryll stomped her foot, impassioned when the topic of the _Aloft_ came up.

"Well, can you ship fly?" Malron crossed her arms and Aryll furrowed her brows, slack jawed until they held onto each other and were suddenly propelled into the sky, over the Great Sea.

Aryll turned around to find Syrup holding her gust bellows behind her, looking very suspicious. Suddenly a villager that Aryll just barely recognized ran over and pointed at the sky, "I ship it!"

Aryll got an idea.

* * *

"Hey, Linkle," Malron called out, "we've got a present outside!"

"Oh, wow, really?" Linkle jumped up from breakfast and grabbed her cloak, and followed Malron outside, and what she found was a rectangle box, "I wonder what this is?"

"Let's find out!" Malron readied her saw to cut the corners, when Aryll ran up to watch them.

"Oh," Linkle laughed, "this is a ship in a bottle! Aryll loves these—wait, it's nameplate... _Aloft_ is...the ship, but the color's been inverted."

"As you can see, I ship it!" Aryll shouted, and then Syrup turned her gust bellows onto the ship in a bottle.

"And look, it can fly!" Syrup laughed, "Obviously a superior ship!"

 **Mini Author's Notes: This was something that had to be done!**

* * *

 **The Struggle**

Linkle felt the pull of the Dark Side, strong and fierce, begging her to draw and feed it her emotions. She learned not to, though, and pushed it to the back of her mind, and instead use a calming technique. Tingle was the most powerful foe she faced yet, but was he the Master...or the apprentice?

"The Dark Side is strong with you." Tingle remarked with a smile, "Your thoughts betray you, I can see...ah...sister...you have a little sister."

"B-back off, who do you think you are, sensing my thoughts?!" Linkle paled as a laugh erupted from Tingle's throat.

"Impa never told you about your father, did she?" Tingle wondered, almost absentmindedly, and with that same lift in his voice like he was putting on airs.

"My father," Linkle's voice dropped to a whisper, "I've never worried to much about who my father was."

Tingle grinned, "I am you father!"

"What?!" she screamed, "That's impossible!"

"Why, you sent him out for takeout not five minutes ago?"

"No, I mean...that's _impossible_ , m-my father died in the Great War! I-I have a picture of him, he-he has my nose and eyes!" Linkle protested.

"You cannot deny what you feel to be true," Tingle set his lightsaber on his side, green cape dancing in the cold Snow Peak evening behind him, "you are my father, and heir to the Fairy Kingdom, come with me, together we will reclaim our lost empire, and rule as father and son!"

"Wait, what?" Linkle didn't feel terrified, just confused.

"I always wanted a son. You will help me fulfill my unrealized fantasy of playing catch in the early light of dawn, and making 'smores over an open fire, and I don't care what people say, boys can like 'smores, too."

"What?!"

"And one day you will be married, and ascend the throne, reclaim our lost legacy."

"Um...I hope you're joking."

"I'm serious."

Linkle glared at him and drew her lightsaber, "You're lying to me!"

"Well, okay, maybe I skipped over a few great grandfathers, but-"

"Wait...how old are you?"

"Ancient...and powerful!"

"So...I'm the Fairy Princess, then? Oh, I always wanted to be a Fairy Princess!"

"I thought you always wanted to be a Hero."

"I did, but that was something else I wanted to be."

"And I always wanted to fly to the moon." he said, crossing his arms disbelievingly.

"Well," Linkle shrugged and grabbed her crossbows, "why wait?"

* * *

Malron climbed the mountains to find Linkle, and looked up to see a shooting star and heard a voice yell, "That's no moon!" shortly before a supernovae appeared in the night sky.

"Hey, Malron!" Linkle called to her from up a hill.

"Hey, Linkle," Malron sluggishly made her way up the hill, "time to go back to camp, the yetis are closing the base soon."

* * *

Using the Force to guide their sleds, they made it the the yeti's mansion in record time, and had some hot cheese, pumpkin and fish soup, and fell asleep by the fireplace, in the fawning female yeti's arms, while her husband held her close by his side.

 **Mini Author's Notes: We all know the yeti thinks Hylians are cute, but then, she thinks a lot of stuff's cute...yetis make such a great ship, who knew?**

* * *

 **Ganondorf's Return**

Linkle bounced off a wall and pass Malron, who landed on one of Ganon's blades. Malron leapt into the air and strung an Arrow of Light, and loosed it on the bipedal pig's tail, then Sheik ran towards Ganon and struck his tail when he turned to swing at Malron.

Somehow Ganon broke free and his first action was to clog a river and lure the heroes into the riverbed, "Mal!" Linkle cried out, not expecting Ganon to have reflexes capable of knocking Malron out of the air.

Linkle ran across the riverbed, using her Pegasus Boots to run across the sludge, and jumped onto the shore, "I'm fine...we need a better plan until Aryll shows up!"

Linkle pulled Malron to her feet and turned to Sheik who was slung into the tree above them. After several snaps, Sheik was able to slow her fall and landed without a scratch, "She's going to be here soon...but someone has to be behind this, someone with the tech to open the Nopeverse!"

"You rang?" Tingle floated above them on a red balloon and drifted above Ganon, "My friend and I here broke out using this—the Tingle tuner!"

Linkle shot at the green controller in Tingle's hand, but he turned and his balloon popped instead, "Where'd you get that?!"

"Get that? No, no, no, you misunderstand, Tingle had it all along! I just tuned it to the matching frequency of the Nopeverse field generator, and entered the password that I had a guard outside Hyrule Castle change for me for ten Rupees...the password was 'Zelda', all capital letters, because the classics never get old!" Tingle replied mirthfully.

"Is the Tingle Tuner waterproof?" Sheik inquired, her hidden eye on Linkle, who was scaling the tree wall blocking the river.

"No, but I don't see any river here, do-" Tingle shrieked as a flood of trees and water hit him, and the _Aloft_ ran over him and Ganon. The villains surfaced, dazed from the excruciating amount of pain that somehow didn't kill them, and the Tingle Tuner, fried, malfunctioned and zapped them. The Tingle Tuner apparently worked as a Nopefield Disruptor, so they instantly faded into the Nopeverse and out of this reality.

"Superior ship!" Aryll yelled, fist in the air.

"No!" Ganondorf roared, forcibly reverted to his human form, "Another curse on you, Zelda! From now on, whenever you dress as Sheik, people will refer to you as a guy! And Mallory, whenever you try to ride into the fields before Castle Town, you will be stopped and escorted to the castle because they'll think you're a Gerudo! And Linkle...oh, Linkle, I curse you and your spirit, you and I will fight for-"

Ganondorf paused, shocked to find Malron standing on his torso, scissors in her grasp, "Nope." she whispered. A snip later and she jumped off of him, and he spiraled down to the floor of the Nopeverse.

 **Mini Author's Notes: Ganondorf will cough up that tongue and regenerate it in a few centuries, unless Tingle nerds up another Tuner.**

* * *

 **Mal Function**

Malron worked at Castle Romani, a famous and popular hotel, as the receptionist since her dad was asleep somewhere, and just back from lunch to find a red haired gentleman in a tuxedo with red, white, and green patterns in the cuffs of his sleeves, "Hello, sir, here for a room?" she inquired.

"Yes, I'd like one under the name of 'Ganon', if you have any available rooms." he replied pulling his hand back along his red hair.

"Here you go!" she smiled, handing him his key.

"Thank you." the guest went up the stairs and Malron snickered at the name she signed in the book.

"Hey, Mal, what's funny?" Linkle leaned over the counter and looked around, "Your dad around here?"

"He's napping right now, but look what I did." Malron pointed at the newest name in the book, and Linkle smirked as she leaned down.

"Gannon..oh, Mal." Linkle smirked.

* * *

Malron somehow woke her dad up, swept the floor, cooked dinner, and helped Linkle with the cuccos. Sometimes Linkle thought she had powers.

Later that evening, during Linkle's hour long stare at the mayor's house, Malron opened the window, removed her glasses, and leapt into the air.

That night, Linkle saw a red shooting star and heard someone yell, "It's Sheikah Time!"

She knew that wasn't Malron, after all, she was scared of heights.

* * *

Linkle walked into the kitchen for a cookie, but as she walked in, a broom swept underfoot and she fell into Malron's arms, "Ah! Mal!" Linkle shouted.

"That's what you call me." Malron smirked.

Linkle smiled mischievously and growled, "Get Noped."

"Eh? I thought that was just for bad guys." Malron smiled, laughing sheepishly.

* * *

Talron walked into the kitchen and found Malron holding a half eaten cookie in one hand, her other hand's fingers fingers on her lips, which were curled into a grin, her face as red as her hair.

"Malron, you okay there?" Talron asked, "You going to eat that?"

"Yeah, Dad." Malron breathed.

Talron shrugged and left, "Must have been a really good cookie."

 **Mini Author's Notes: Perfect way to end it, I think!**


	4. LoL: Chibi Great Adventures 4

**Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures 4**

 **Where's Zelda?**

Linkle, Hero Hand Chosen by the Goddess Hylia, reborn and on a mission to find Her Grace, searched the woods diligently, dowsing for her childhood friend who she could always count on for a push.

Her mind went back to the days when she was just the girl who wanted to be the Hero to Zelda's Goddess, and now her fight was bound up with the Surface, as was her friend's.

Linkle made beeping sounds like the Goddess Sword, until she found—a strange little creature?

"Zelda, is that you?" Linkle called out.

"Master, there is a five percent chance of this Kikwi being Zelda, though this is doubtful, I sense a strong correlation between this individual and the Sailcloth, we should make further queries in our investigation." Fi turned to the little creature, who was staring between Fi and Linkle, "Master, you may begin your questioning of this Kikwi."

"Um, Zelda-senpai, is that you?"

"For the last time, don't call me-ah, can't breath!"

"Zelda! Fi, look, isn't Zelda's new look so adorable?!"

"There is a ninety-five percent increase in her overall 'cuteness' status."

"No kidding, she's so-"

"Put me down, put me down!" Zelda demanded flapped her little wings as Linkle made for the nearest bird statue, where she took Zelda back to the sky.

 **Mini Author's Notes: That...would be how it would have went. I'll have to be doing more Zelda Kikwis in the future!**

 **Linron, Linron, Linron**

Aryll opened the cabin door and found her crew awed by something, and when she stepped closer she saw something on the horizon.

"Captain, what is that?!" a sailor cried, "Some kind of goddess!"

Aryll pulled out her telescope and found it was not just one female figure, but two, "It's some kind of construct, there's too much fog," Aryll pointed at the object, "take us closer!"

"Aye-aye, Captain Aryll!" was the collective response.

* * *

As they drew near, Aryll could see that one had red hair, yellow torso, and blue below that, and realized it was Malron, the other must have been Linkle, "What shenanigans are these two up to now?" Aryll pulled out her telescope and found that the hazy one was in green, and that the faces themselves had been meticulously carved, "No good, I bet."

Rustle walked up alongside her and sighed, "You and your sister still at it?"

"She is, and this is the last straw," Aryll smacked her fist into her hand, "no one defies me by defying gravity by making a ship that sails by standing up!"

Aryll climbed the mast and swung across the gap, landing in the ear. After an hour's search, and several broken doors later, she found crate in a room with a window that revealed more water below them. It was somehow defying logic, only the _Aloft_ was allowed to do that.

She pulled the crate open and Malron and Linkle popped out, "Shipped on a ship that resembles our ship—superior!" Linkle shouted.

"Linkle, Malron, do you realize how many laws of physics you've broken?!" Aryll admonished.

"What are you going to do, call the guards, trespasser?!" Linkle pointed out.

"P-point...but...how did this thing not fall onto it's side, or sink?" Aryll questioned, "It weighs tons!"

"By believing in our ship," Linkle informed proudly, "it stays afloat-"

"No matter how crazy and impossible it is-" Malron continued Linkle's sentence.

"This is the _Linron_ , and we will go down with this ship!" Linkle and Malron proceeded to show off their handshake, "We are Linron, we are canon! Linron confirmed! Smile emoji!"

Aryll stared, slack jaw, and had to close her mouth with both hands, then shook her head, "First off, what is an emoji? And second...you can't be canon if you're not in an original series! And third, this goes beyond crazy, a ship standing upright is just...unheard of!"

"It's also a submarine!" Linkle announced proudly.

Aryll tried not to be awe-stricken, at the depth to which the ship sunk and instead focused on the windows, "How are those windows holding up, we've plunged so deep, there's no trace of light!"

"Even when the ship sinks it's still in one piece!" Malron replied.

"What is this ship made of?" Aryll demanded, "I call foul!"

"This ship is made out of and fueled by love!" Linkle turned to Malron, but just as they were about to kiss, Talron broke through a window, "Ah, what—why and how?!"

"Water pressure's pretty awful, so I came to make sure you were alright!" Talron announced, then turned to leave through a window.

"Wait, Dad, don't leave through the-" Malron paled and turned to Linkle.

"What, what's wrong?"Talron wondered, oblivious to the water gushing through the window.

"We're taking on water!" Aryll screamed, "Abandon ship, abandon ship!"

"Seal the hatches!" Linkle cried, a command that sealed the window instantly.

"Initiate emergency protocol!" Malron yelled, as the broken window sealed.

"Well, now how am I going to get home?" Talron sighed, "You girls got to think ahead."

Aryll screamed again as Talron spun a wheel and flipped through the air, then hit a window and sailed through it, "Activate the mermaid sequence!" Linkle and Malron cried in unison.

The ship grew two fins and the window sealed, "There, now we just have to surface!" Linkle sighed.

Linkle turned to Malron but Talron suddenly fell into the room, "Oh, and I packed lunch!" he smiled.

* * *

The Wayfarer looked up from his sandcastle to find two mermaids breaking the surface of the water like dolphins and smiled, "They do exist."

He remembered a redheaded man who wore a constant smile, and his words echoed in his head. He thought the guys was just creepy, but his advice was solid. " _Just have faith."_

 **Mini Author's Notes: This is maybe the craziest segment out of arguably the craziest update yet!**

 **Linkle And The Redhead Farm Girl**

Linkle always thought about the farm on the hill, and now that Aryll spent more time away, Linkle had more time to think of it. Everyone said farm work was hard, but she was sure it wasn't that bad. One evening the postman gave her a special survey, Romani-Lon Ranch was seeking help, willing to work for food, apparently there were at least three "hearty" meals a day, the other requirements were quirky. The register had to be possessed of a chirpy personality, be skilled with bows, and—in a list that seemed to have been hastily tagged on—be preferably young and dashing.

It sounded more like a dad hunting in hopes of his kid's fairy tale romance, but she figured that the person had to be young and fit to help with running after goats, and working for food seemed easy enough, Aryll had a captain's paycheck—it helped that she was actually a captain—so if Linkle needed clothes she could always wait for the bank to collect Aryll's payment, half was always put into Linkle's account. The weapons part sounded weird, but then, what else would a bored farmer do after the daily chores were done? Besides, Skulltulas were a real threat.

The next day she woke early and threw on her usual clothes, and ran to the ranch.

* * *

When Linkle arrived, she found a tense girl pointing at a large man with a mustache and little hair. The redheaded girl was angry about something, and Linkle accidentally heard some parts of the admonishment, "...we're expecting other applicants today, and some of them might be here for a job, rather than breaking pots and terrorizing our cuccos!"

"Malron-" the man pointed at her but she stomped her foot.

"I'm not done talking here! I want to know why you're awake one minute, and then asleep the next. And then there's your habit of always eating the mushrooms! You know that those things are for potions, right?!"

"Malron, we have a guest." the man waved at Linkle with his fingers.

Malron wheeled around and blushed, "I'm sorry you had to see that!"

"Is everything okay?" Linkle inquired.

"Yes! Well...as okay as things can be. I'm Malron, I run the farm!" Malron held her hand out and Linkle shook her hand.

"I'm Linkle, I'm hear about a job? The thing says to send or visit in person and wait for assessment, but I wanted to see the place anyways!" Malron tugged her hand back and Linkle realized that she was shaking her hand for much too long, "Sorry!"

"It's fine. This is Talron, he's the major consumer of our milk, and the reason we need help!" Malron flicked her thumb back at him, "Also, my dad. Well, I'll give you the tour...and," she wheeled around shook both hands, "stop eating all the mushrooms! They're for potions and are supposed to serve as extra cash! Count on you to drink up all the milk, and then turn around empty our mushroom stock by the bushel, that can't be good for you!"

"Just give the girl her tour, Malron." Talron said, hoping to distract her.

"Fine. Linkle, please follow me."

* * *

Malron explained the meal times and pointed to the houses within on the ranch, and their purposes, Linkle interrupted with many questions, and pointed at everything from the horses to the line of farming tools.

"Uh, Linkle?" Malron interrupted.

"And look at the sky! You don't see this much sky in Castle Town! It's _everywhere_ and so...blue!" Linkle fell forward from spinning around so much.

"Linkle?" Malron helped Linkle to her feet, "Awful talkative, huh?"

"Huh...oh, sorry, you're supposed to be talking, not me!" Linkle stumbled away and tried to clear her spinning vision, "I'm sorry, it's just that this is my first time at a farm and I'm super pumped, and—is that a cucco?!"

"Huh?" Malron was dazed by the sudden change in conversation, and before she found where Linkle ran off to, she was upon one of the flock of cuccos kept at the ranch, "Wait, no, don't! Wait, what? How is she alright?"

"Ah, ha, ha!" Linkle turned to Malron, crouched as she petted the bird, "This one's a male, see the rubbery beard? Oh, a blue one!"

Malron smiled as Linkle ran to the azure hatchling, "I meant she as in you-"

"Does he have a name yet?" Linkle asked enthusiastically.

"No, not yet." Malron sighed.

"Well...um, I'm sure you'll think of something—horse incoming!" Linkle shouted as a chestnut mare galloped pass Malron.

"Oh, that's Epona—wait, she seems to like you...Epona doesn't...normally take to strangers so easily."

"Wow, what a nice name!" Linkle remarked as she petted the horse's snout.

" _She must have a very pure heart."_ Malron startled backwards as a yellow light sparkled around Linkle, "Why are you sparkling?! Are you a goddess?!"

"What...sparkling? I don't see it but...according to my grandma I'm the Hero...maybe that has something to do with it?"

"Well...I'm not sure about the Hero, but you're good with animals...let's see show you how to milk cows."

"Um, so, what's unusual about Epona and visitors?"

"Uh, that? Well, usually she has to be calmed down with this song my mom made back when I was little...I forgot the words, but I remember the melody, Epona loves it, I guess she associates it with Mom...strangely, she seems to like me well enough. Dad's another story, though, she avoids him and Syrup. Oh, Syrup, she _loves_ to exorcise things. Rocks, homes, babies, pies."

"Babies?!" Linkle exclaimed.

"Well, that's her dream, to one day exorcise a baby, preferably one that shoots fire from it's mouth, and has a super strong grip and throws things."

"She sounds...interesting."

"You can say that again."

Linkle smiled, "She sounds interesting."

"Ha, yeah."

"So, what's the song your mother made?"

* * *

Malron stopped whistling Epona's song as she led Linkle into the barn.

"Okay," Malron handed her a bottle, "take this bottle and I'll supervise you."

"Trade cucco for bottle?" Linkle gave the bird to Malron who handed her the bottle, "Um, so...cow...I, uh...can I get some milk? I mean, I need about...up to this shoulder of the bottle...if the bottle looked like a person." Linkle turned to find Malron shaking her head, "I know!"

Linkle pulled out an ocarina and started playing the tune Malron hummed for her, and the cow mooed, "You know, I love that song...here, kid, come back if you need a refill."

"Hey, thanks! Hey, Malron-" Linkle turned to Malron, who was staring slack jawed at Linkle, "what is it?"

"N-nothing...you know, if you can herd our cuccos and play for our cows, that'd be like...taking what my dad does, and doing the _way_ opposite of it."

"Sure!" Linkle traded the cucco back and left Malron with the bottle, "What about dinner and dishes and stuff?"

"Oh, I'll do all that, we've got this, with you and me working the ranch, we'll be good to go! So, what about the blue cucco, you can name him if you like."

"What about...Cojiro?"

"I like it...you know, Linkle, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Whoa!" Malron jumped back as an elderly lady, her hair pulled into a ponytail, zipped pass them on some strange machine, "That's Syrup...she's 'borrowing' a gust bellow device that Linebeck made up, inspired by some kid's doodle."

* * *

Linkle quickly befriended Malron and Talron, along with the farm animals, even Syrup didn't yell at her as much as she normally would, and everything was great, until one day some guy in a green shirt and pink overalls came over, shouting about the deed Talron lost to him during a bet.

"What kind of bet?" Malron demanded, "Also this farm may be in his name, but I _run_ the place, he's got no place-"

"Ah, ah, ah, here's my name on the deed, all legal and stuff. I, Ingo Gorman, _run_ this place!" he laughed and pointed his thumb outside, "Go on and scram, I'm moving in!"

Malron shook her fist at him and growled, "Come on, Linkle, let's go find out where my dad passed out this time."

* * *

They found Talron asleep outside the castle, a woman about their age in a pink dress was watching him worriedly.

"Apologies, ma'am," Malron began, "this is my dad...he tends to fall asleep in peculiar places."

"Hey, Zel, once he fell asleep in some mashed potatoes and gravy, he had this raccoon pattern thing going on around his eyes!" Linkle snorted.

"Linkle...is this the princess?! Don't speak so familiar-" Malron cut herself off as Zelda chuckled.

"That _is_ pretty funny. Oh, is this Malron?" Zelda bowed to the farm girl, "I am Princess Zelda, it's an honor to finally meet you."

"The honor's all mine—huh, finally?!" Malron jumped.

"Ha, yes, Linkle and I are friends, ever since she broke into the castle. She still breaks in sometimes, Impa didn't like it, but she warmed up to her." Zelda explained, "She sends letters, and speaks fondly of you—rather, she _writes_ fondly."

"Really?" Malron turned to Linkle. She had more surprises than Malron ever counted on...at least they weren't bad surprises.

"Yep, we're pen pals!" Linkle confirmed.

"Um, well, thank you for watching my father for me...hey wake up." Malron stood next to him and shook his shoulder with her foot.

"He's been out a while, but the healers can find nothing to wake him."

"That's because he's weird." Malron held out a cucco, upon the crowing, her father leapt up looked around, then blushed and stood quietly, "Well, that settles that. I apologize for the trouble."

"Not at all," Zelda smiled, "it was more than worth the worry."

"Now, Dad," Malron crossed her arms, "normally I'd wait until we were back home to chew you out, but seeing as how we _have_ no home...what did you bet our home on?"

"Uh, well, I may have caught a glance of one of those letters Linkle writes outside, and I saw a few words, and talked to some of the fellers at the bar." Talron began.

"And then?! And then?!" Malron seethed.

"'And then' what?" Talron held his hands up between himself and Malron.

"That's what I want to know!" Malron started counting off her fingers, "First you go and intrude on an employee's privacy, and then you go and bet about it, after days—sometimes weeks—of not leaving your bed! What could have been so important—actually-"

"Well, I saw Linkle writing something about 'dinner', 'date', 'romance', and 'ask her out' and I bet she was talking about the woman that has allergies to cuccos, and Ingo said it was you...and...well, you know who won."

Linkle stared in disbelief, her jaw slacked, "You mean to tell me that you didn't realize all this time that I had a crush on you daughter?! All this time?! Linkle exclaimed, "And you bet the whole ranch on me liking someone just because we're both associated with cuccos?! You might as well have thought I was talking about Grog!"

"Um, in my own defense, you did say 'she.'" Talron pointed out.

* * *

A week after the trio moved into the castle, Ingo showed up, begging Talron to take back the ranch.

"Huh, why?!" Linkle exclaimed, giving words to the curiosity of those in the room.

"It's cursed! There's some kind of animal that keeps eating all the mushrooms, and drinking all the milk, and the horses hate me, and Epona cracked all of my ribs when I lassoed her and tried to bring her back to the enclosure, and the worst part is Maple and Syrup! One of them can't drive, and the other intentionally crashes into me, and I can't figure out witch which is which!" Ingo crumpled to the floor in tears and presented the deed, which was in pieces, "I don't want the stupid place anymore! Just make this nightmare end!"

"You tore up the deed?!" Malron roared, "Don't you know they don't make copies or keep records...don't you?!"

"It wasn't me, it was that raccoon!" Ingo wailed.

"Everyone out of my way!" a red haired man drew his blade, "This is an usurpation!"

"Yeah, get out of boss' way, people, this is Ganondorf's home now!" a Gerudo chirped.

"Put the money in the bag, put scepter in the bag, along with the Royal Treasury's...treasures." the male Gerudo ordered.

"Never, I'll fight you myself!" Zelda drew her blade and Impa rose from her shadow.

"Allow me to assist you with that small matter, Princess." Impa requested, wielding a naginata, "King Ganondorf, I suggest you back down, we have an army...eh, why are all you guards running around! Ahem, you have two more than capable warriors to contend with!"

"Very well... _we_ will fight you ourselves!" Zelda corrected herself.

"Count me in, too!" Malron said, taking a bow in hand.

"You dare stand against the Triforce of Power?! Which I found in the trash...some idiot must have tossed it out." Ganondorf showed his hand to everyone, then darted over to Zelda and grabbed her wrist, "Ah, perfect...but where's the Triforce of Courage? More importantly, where is Little Green Riding Hood? I sensed the Triforce of Courage coming from her hand!"

"Little Old Riding Hoodlum, away!" Ganondorf turned around and the only thing he could do before Syrup crashed into him was drop his jaw and widen his eyes. Linkle ran up to the dazed king and held her hand over the Triforce mark on his hand, it glowed as she reached for it, and she grunted as she pulled it out. Zelda approached her and sent the Triforce of Wisdom to Linkle.

Linkle held the three Triforce pieces in her hand and smiled, "I wish...for the darkness of Ganondorf's heart to be obliterated!"

The Triforce flew up into the air as her wish was granted, and a bright light glowed from it before it vanished, and peace thrived in Hyrule.

 **Mini Author's Notes: Yeah...Ganondorf didn't see that one coming...I don't think even I did...watch out for Syrup, she's not like Maple, she will run you down.**


	5. Legend of Linkle: CGA 5

**Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures 5**

 **Trouble Brewing**

Linkle leaned forward as Epona broke into a full gallop, the wind whipped rain into her face despite the hood she pulled over her head. Syrup assured her the potion could cure anything, though the subject would be sealed, Zelda was in a desperate place, so that wasn't even a drawback, it was an improvement.

"Your Majesty!" Linkle threw open the door to Zelda's room. Impa, Malron, and the king were relieved to see the black and white mixture in the bottle, "Your poison should be obliterated with a full dose of this potion!"

"I know I'll be funding Maple Syrup from now on." the king sighed, "Not even the best healers or alchemists could come through for us."

Zelda quickly gulped the potion down and fell back, "Ugh, am I supposed to feel lightheaded?"

"I...don't know, Syrup said none of the side effects were harmful." Linkle replied.

"Good enough for me...it's an improvement." Zelda sighed. She turned to see everyone staring at her curiously, "What, am I growing plants on my head?"

"Um, just a stem." Linkle pointed at the top of her head, while Impa brought her a mirror.

"Oh, no! This is terrible!" Zelda squeaked.

"Oh, great and merciful Hero!" the king fell to his knees, "Please, restore my daughter!"

"O-okay, just please calm down, Your Highness, I'll turn her back!" Linkle promised, "That said, the princess's new style is _so_ cute!"

"Linkle, now's hardly the time to fawn over-" Impa lost her train of thought as she smiled at Zelda, "Actually, you have a very valid point."

"Huh, let me see!" Malron looked over Impa and Linkle's shoulders and squealed, "Oh, wow, she's so cute?! How is this Princess Zelda? Nothing about her seems regal or elegant!"

"Hey, Mal, you got pretty loud." Linkle held a hand over her ear.

"Oops, sorry about that!" Malron apologized.

"A-anyways, I should probably go now!" Linkle turned around, "We've got a princess to save!"

* * *

"What do you mean 'How do we save the princess?'" Syrup growled.

"Exactly what I said, how do-" Linkle jumped as Syrup slammed her book down.

"You don't, it was a potion, not a poison, the properties of side effects can't be 'cured', you have to wait them out!" Syrup yelled.

"But the king's birthday's coming up, what if you were going to have a birthday and Maple couldn't be there?" Linkle crossed her arms and stared at Syrup, trying not to waiver, lest Syrup through a book at her.

"I don't know," Syrup turned away and grumbled, "guess I wouldn't like that too much...but it's hardly a matter of presence! No, a better question is how would _you_ feel if Malron got sick on your birthday?!"

"Well, that's simple, I'd postpone my birthday until...ah, until she got better!" Linkle clapped her hands together, "I have...the solution!"

"It's hardly a cold." Malron pointed out.

"Oh, right, I forgot, Syrup doesn't know when the side effects wear off...wait, do you?" Linkle stared at Syrup again, trying to be braver until Syrup got bored of being stared at.

"No, I don't...hmm, no that there's even a slim chance it could work, but I _could_ always exorcise her." Syrup shook her head, "Nah, the king wouldn't want that, people would think she's been possessed or something...though I _may_ know of a rumor about a song with healing properties...the Song of Healing...it could restore her—if she was cursed."

"Well, right now she's a cute penguin looking thing that has a sprout growing out of her head." Linkle explained.

"Oh, well, that's a curse...Maple?! Did you remember to clean out the last mixture before starting the healing potion batch?!" Syrup waited for a reply and tapped her foot as Maple ran down the stairs, "Maple, did-"

"No, you cackled and said something about how 'it was ready', and I didn't ask what because I figured you were just baiting me, I just started on the potion...why?" Maple turned to Linkle and Malron and frowned, "Why are these two here? Did Talron eat all the mushrooms again?"

"Maple, the princess is a Kikwi." Syrup revealed, "If word gets out...mass hysteria."

"I-I see...this must remain a secret to everybody." Maple nodded, "Right, so we need an antidote, but for that, we need a base resistant to magic, some ground deku sticks should do it."

"Yes...actually, this is good time for you to practice, plus you could use some more air time!" Syrup heft her gustbellows and hit the trio with a blast of air, leaving three holes in the wall, "And remember to send for a carpenter!"

* * *

Maple sailed down on her broom, Linkle shot her clawshots at a tree so she would crash into the ground, and Malron swung across the branches until she reached the ground with a roll. Maple watched the two from her broom and sighed, "That witch is something else, huh? But you two seem to be okay...anyways, we should go find the branches now...wow, she shot us over the ocean! I think she must have augmented that thing with some sort of enchantments!"

"Either that, or Linebeck went all out with his prototype." Malron imagined him flying from one wall of his workshop to another.

"Anyways, where are we?" Linkle wondered.

"Oh, uh, right." Maple looked up at the sky and licked her finger, then held it up. After that she took out her map and nodded, "Alright, then!"

"So, you know where we are?!" Linkle exclaimed, very impressed.

"I can say—without a doubt—that we are most definitely lost!" Maple announced.

"You are _incredible_ , Maple." Linkle sighed.

"It stands to reason we're on a large island," Malron decided, "after all, what small island would have a forest on it? There's not many islands with forests, I think this is Enchanted Forest Island, which would make sense, all manner of magical plants grow here!"

"What a name!" Maple groaned.

"Well, at least we know where we are! Maybe." Linkle took a look at Maple's map, "And look, Hyrule Castle is right here on the map, that's the way we were shot from, right?"

"Right, and if Malron's correct, then I know where we should be going." Maple removed her hat and produced a ball of yarn, she tied the loose end to a tree branch and started off into the woods, "We'll walk on the right side of the forest, but the place is a maze, the worst part is you can't see anything from above...except at night, when the trees move."

"What?! Trees move?" Linkle stared at the forest and shook her head.

"It _is_ Enchanted Forest Island!" Maple reminded them.

"Right, good thing you've got some yarn." Malron noted.

* * *

After a few hours Linkle leaned against a tree, "I don't know about you guys, but I think the trees _always_ move."

"You're silly, the trees haven't moved!" Maple laughed, "We've been watching them the whole time!"

"Not _all_ of them," Malron remarked dubiously, "the forest is a big place."

"Well...even then, trees only move at night!" Maple stated.

"Yeah...about that," Malron sighed, "you sure it wasn't something more along the lines of 'All the trees move at night' or 'The only time trees move is at night', because...I'm starting to doubt that the trees are nocturnal."

"U-um...well, I have a Kokiri's Guide to Hyrule, written by a unnamed Kokiri," Maple held out the book and opened it, "let's see...'Enchanted Forest Island: An enchanting little island that isn't little at all, or at least, not to the perception of you other races, for the Kokiri, we can see through the illusion and find the true path. A thing to note: Compasses fail here this is an _enchanted_ island, after all _,_ to go into the woods means certain doom—good thing you're reading before stumbling headfirst into the woods, right? It'd be annoying to read this _after_ getting lost! But for those of you who forgot a something, whipped out the book, and started to look for it, don't give up hope! The thing you probably forgot or will forget is that the trees all move around at night, you'll mistake this for a cool breeze, or realize what it is and cry for your mother.' I...uh, oops?"

"Yeah, this is an oops moment," Malron agreed, "well, there must be something useful in there."

"Um, y-yeah...'After three nights and days of wandering, a prepared adventurer will begin to connect with the mystic powers of the island—which became more forgiving since breaking off from the Lost Woods during an earthquake—on such a profound level they begin to _know_ where they are exactly, that said, your first steps into the woods is probably your safest, as you can still turn back. Of note: The trees will not move if you're watching them or can hear them move, afterwards it'll do it's best to eat you alive, in which case, rest in peace, dear reader, it has been nice being read by you.'"

"Heartening." Linkle sighed.

"Well, the author said the woods only seemed bigger than they are, which explains the paradox that's been recorded over time, of the outside of the island being smaller than the inside." Malron looked down at the yarn on the ground and followed it, Linkle and Maple close behind. At the end of the yarn, which had wound around a few trees several times, they found their tree, but there was no beach, "Just as I suspected, the tree is not on the beach!"

"What, does that mean we've got to stay here for three days?!" Maple screamed.

"And three nights." Linkle added.

"A full seventy-two hours in a strange place," Malron stated wistfully, "that's going to be interesting...I don't take it we have any food or water?"

"It was supposed to be maybe a half day hike." Maple shrugged, "So yeah, we're dead in the water."

"Um, not just yet!" Linkle held her compass out, "Look, I've got this compass, we'll be fine!"

"Um, that compass is just a compass, it _can't_ work." Maple sighed, "Good try though."

"Ah, yeah, I forget, it's a _magic_ compass!" Linkle added.

"So _you're_ that girl that thinks she's the Hero reborn." Maple shook her head, "Okay, well, maybe you are...times like this, I _hope_ you are."

"Oh, don't worry, I am the Hero, in the cloak!" Linkle spun around and held her compass up by a finger, "I've got proof right here. Magic compass, guide us to the object of our quest, the makings of a potion for our princess!"

Suddenly a gold light shot out in the direction they should go, and Linkle led her fellow adventurers into the depths.

* * *

Meanwhile Zelda was wondering what she did to deserve the humility she was immersed in, "What does _anyone_ have to do to deserve this? Only Ganondorf deserves this...oh, Nayru, Farore and Din, here he is, speak of the Demon King!"

Ganondorf crossed his arms and grinned at the Kikwi sitting on a footstool, "Ha, ha, ha, I'm hear to take back the crown, where's the princess, plant...penguin...plainguin! Ha, ha, ha!"

"Oh, no you don't, I'm a Kikwi!" Zelda objected, "I will not stand for to be treated this way!"

"Sir!" Aveil saluted Ganondorf, "We could not find the princess anywhere, instead we found was King Daphnes the Dumb and Impa the Tickled! She's smirking about something, and insists it's your goofy hair, sir!"

"Did you say my hair was goofy?!" he roared at Aveil.

"N-no, Sir, I would never—nay, could _never_ think that about your magnanimous hair! It was _she_ who said that about you're hair, and why she thought it was funny."

"Impa, is this true?!" Ganondorf growled.

"Yup, those hair curlers are offensive!" Impa said, with an unfailing grin.

"Ah!" Ganondorf roared at the ceiling.

"How false!" Aveil objected, "His Majesty Ganondorf's hair curlers are fantastic! They remind me of my own grandmother's hair curlers, in fact, I would think that his hair curlers are antiques, relics from another age!"

"And in that age they belong!" Impa spat.

"Ah!" Ganondorf growled again.

"Objection!" Aveil screamed.

"No, but it's true!" Ganondorf cried, "Alas—these _are_ your grandmother's hair curlers!"

"What, but she said she'd kill whoever stole them!" Aveil remembered.

"I know...and so I slew her!" Ganondorf confessed.

"Ugly hair for an ugly heart...it might _actually_ make him look better." Daphnes turned to the floor and spat at Ganondorf's boot.

Suddenly Link and Fi walked into the throne room, the Hero making beeping sounds as he dowsed with the Master Sword.

"Yay!" Zelda cried, "Hurry, Link start fighting Ganondorf, I'll pray for the Arrows of Light that you'll almost certainly need!"

"Grunt." Link coughed.

Fi nodded, "Link says, 'Oh, wow, Zelda, is that you?!'"

"Yes, it's me, Princess Zelda!" Zelda cried.

Ganondorf started laughing and pointed at Zelda, "Wow, that's funny, and unbelievable, the _real_ Zelda would be hiding! But, you know, I might take you with me anyways, just because Kikwis are cute!"

"Grunt!" Link shouted.

Fi nodded, "Link says that Kikwis are most certainly _not_ cute, I disagree, there is only a five percent chance that Kikwis are not cute. In fact, according to my analysis, this Kikwi is a 'D'aw' class Kikwi, in magnitude of cuteness."

"Gasp!" Link cried.

"Indeed, there is such a metric unit of cuteness, I read about it online, I, as you would say, Goggled it." Fi stated triumphantly.

"I'm tired of this," Ganondorf groaned, "what are the odds that Zelda is a Kikwi?"

"And that," Fi announced, "is, as they say, a secret to everyone."

"Ugh." Link slapped his face and shook his head.

"I agree, nobody says that." Ganondorf groaned.

"They will." Fi assured, "But for the benefit of the audience, that chance is five percent."

"Anyways, Link, your blade won't work, it's not at full power." Ganondorf rolled his eyes.

"Huh?" Link offered Ganondorf the blade and Ganondorf held out his hand.

"Sure, I'll hold onto it until you—hey! What are trying to pull?!"

Link laughed quietly, then turned around as the door flew open to reveal the silhouettes of three brave heroes, one with a witch's hat and cape, one with a plain dress, and one with a hood and cloak. They took synchronized steps to the sound of the Ballad of the Wind Fish, which was playing on some device Linebeck was admiring.

"Step back, everybody, this is a showdown with King Ganondorf!" Linkle informed, pulling her hood down.

"You best back down, little Ganon...dwarf." Maple smirked, the wind flipping pages through her book.

"Because we're taking you down!" Malron shouted, holding a bow and arrow with one hand.

"Ah, you dare challenge me?!" Ganondorf roared, "And without the appropriate number of items?!"

"Ah!" Link shouted.

"There is a fifty percent chance that they _could_ be hackers, Master, but there's a one hundred percent chance that they are the 'real deal.'" Fi informed.

Suddenly Ganondorf morphed into a giant pig.

"O-okay, then!" Maple cried, "Little big Ganon-dwarf!"

"Do you have a plan?" Malron wondered, turning to Linkle.

"Yeah...Fi, scan him!" Linkle shouted, "Malron, Maple, get in formation, I'll draw his attention! Hey, Ganon, guess what's in this bottle? A potion! Guess what it does? It'll restore Zelda!"

"And then I can finally pray for the Arrows of Light...for some reason the security measures say I'm an impostor, it doesn't recognize me!"

"Master," Fi turned to Link, "there is a hundred percent chance that Zelda's current form is affected by a lisp, which gives a boost to her magnitude of cuteness, Princess Zelda has now graduated from 'D'aw' to 'Dorbs' status."

"Ugh!" Link nodded in agreement.

"My lisp doesn't make me cute!" Zelda objected, the green pod on her back opened up and she fell face first.

"She is now hiding from view," Fi noted, "her cuteness status has now reached 'Kawaii', and is accelerating. Adding caption...'Me when people say I'm 'Dorbs', adding sunglasses sticker, adding tag, image tagged 'cute' and 'lol', posting image."

"No, now the whole world will think I'm cute and bend to my every whim, and that might mean unlimited chocolate cakes...somebody save me from myself!" Zelda squeaked.

"Also tagging as 'OM3XG 2 CUTE', and 'Kikwi!Zelda', and uploading again." Fi swirled her finger in the air around her, "Somebody retreated from my post? Ah, incoming data...Ganon's weak point is N/A, and requires Arrows of Light."

"On that!" Linkle shouted.

Linkle tossed the bottle to Malron, who tossed it to Maple, who tossed it at Malron as Ganon rushed her. Ganon turned to face Malron, but nothing was in her hand. Ganon heard Zelda gulping down the bottle and found Impa administering the potion, "Too late, Ganon, Zelda's back in the demon slaying business!"

"Goddess of Light!" Zelda shouted, then paused as Ganon turned to her, "Please, grant us the power to smite evil with Arrows of Light!" Zelda squinted as she held her hands up then gasped as one golden arrow fell into her hand and onto the floor, "Oh...we need to pick that one up."

"Ha, ha, ha!" Ganondorf laughed, "You think to slay me with one shiny arrow?! Ridiculous! Stand out of my way!"

"Sir!" Aveil shouted, "The Sages are heading to our location as we-ah!" Aveil fell and picked up the culprit, a single golden arrow."

"Fine, let's finish this!" Ganon breathed, raising a hoof above Zelda.

"Please...Golden Goddesses, hear my plea...let Linkle's arrow find it's mark!" Zelda whispered.

"What was that?" Ganon growled.

"Let her strike without aim!" Zelda winced, glancing up at the hoof above her head.

"Ha, ha, ha, that's right, say your prayers, Hylian princess!" Ganon laughed.

* * *

Linkle ran to the arrow Aveil tossed and bounced it up on her knee, and pointed her bow up, then narrowed her eyes and aimed a little lower before firing, the Arrow of Light struck a chandelier on the other end of the room and bounced off a lot of other chandeliers until it intercepted the little box Linebeck threw behind him out of frustration, and they both landed on Ganon's head.

Ganon fell, his form reverted to Ganondorf and Maple opened her book and with a cry of "Nope, Nope...Nopeverse!" Ganondorf vanished, leaving behind only his Triforce, which Maple picked up.

"You know what, we've got the three pieces of the Triforce here!" Linkle pulled her glove down to show her Triforce of Courage.

"I think we should put it to a vote." Maple raised her hand, "All in favor of making Fi a real person? I mean, seriously, who wants to be a robot for thousands of years?"

"You would wish for me to be human...when you could wish for anything else?" Fi was so moved that she became a human without the need of a wish.

"Well...now what?" Maple wondered, "Wish for a few wishes to fix things up as they come along, emergency wishes?"

"Would that even work?" Zelda wondered.

"I say we don't risk it." Malron advised.

"Okay, so," Linkle clapped her hands together, "everyone think, _really_ hard about this, what is the worse thing ever?"

Everyone thought about it for all of two seconds before they reached an agreement, to wipe the possibility of another Ganondorf off the board, thus bringing Hyrule permanent peace, unless someone else tried to take over Hyrule, which was likely, so they kept the Hylian Guard around, to, at least, make people second guess taking over Hyrule as a good idea.

 **Mini Author's Notes: Maple has joined the party...kind of...let's wish for her to be a recurring character? And Link's here! And silent as ever, though a few people understand what he means, even if it's just a rough idea, which is why even Ganondorf could understand him.**

 **Um, oh, yeah, and Impa took a few swings at Ganondorf's headdress, mainly because that was my first impression for Ganondorf's TP style, he looked a lot like he had his hair curled up and Link caught Ganondorf unprepared, otherwise, it just seems like a very complicated headdress.**


	6. LoL: Chibi Great Adventures 6

**Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures 6**

 **Riddle of the Master Sword**

Zelda wandered the Lost Woods for what seemed like hours, when she finally reached the end, "So, this is where the legends are born." she mused.

Taking one step she felt a resounding, timeless echo of great significance. These were the very steps that Hero after Hero took, the land itself steeped in the same timeless power, even though there hadn't been millions of Heroes, even though there had always really been one, if she read the legends correctly. One spirit bound to fight evil.

" _But it always seems the same...as though the evil is somehow connected to the blade within the Sacred Grove."_ Zelda stopped and looked down at her hand and slid her glove off. There she saw the strange birthmark she could never figure out, a dusky gold color that made her think it was tattooed to her at a young age, but she knew that wasn't it.

It was a curious mark, one she hid by drawing attention to the other hand or by wearing gloves, luckily she was a bit of an adventurer, so why she wore gloves wasn't something that crossed people's minds, they just accepted that they were part of the job.

Lately she'd been having nightmares, they were foggy at best, but always featured the Master Sword, which now stood before her, it too was steeped in history.

"How many wars have you seen, or villains that you've undone?" Zelda got an eerie feeling from it, as though it was the source of some unseen evil. Suddenly a loud humming echoed through the woods, and blonde girl with a green hood skipped through the woods, a compass dangling from her neck, "Are you studying the legends, too?"

"Huh? Me...I am a legend!" the girl proclaimed, "I'm the Hero reborn!"

"The Hero...then maybe you can tell me about this blade, how is it returned to this very same place time after time?" Zelda inquired.

"So...the next guy gets it?" the young woman scratched her head and crossed her arms, "Maybe because only whoever's the Hero can pull it out, and if it's already out you can't prove you're the Hero by pulling it out?"

"I thought as much, all the way out here, in a remote woods...it's the perfect setting for a fantasy come true." Zelda opened a book and flipped through some pages, "See, this is in Ancient Hylian...something about seals? It doesn't make sense, why would you pull out a sword if it's a seal, unless that's how you seal some great evil? But if that's true, then what if pulling it out has the reverse effect? What do you thin-"

Zelda shouted in alarm as the green garbed young woman tugged at the Master Sword's hilt, promptly letting go at the shout, "Don't worry, I'm not going to throw out my back!"

"That's good, too, but we don't know what this does yet!" Zelda exclaimed, holding the wing shaped hand guards of the sacred blade, "Okay, um, how to put this...what if it does more than just one thing, like—a wand, what if it was a sword, but it was also somehow a wand? Or a key? What if this...key goes to something, like a box, and say, that box has some sort of demon in it? Why _here_ , in this place? Why always _here_ , without fail?"

"Because...I don't know, it's not like they make a lot of swords and shields, in fact, do you know how hard it is to find a sword these days? Or a shield!" Linkle gestured to the Master Sword, "But somehow this thing goes through battles and never needs to be repaired, it's like magic...plus, it's the only thing that can slay that legendary demon in the fairy tales."

"From what I've read, there were heroes who've slain that monster without the Master Sword, other fairy tales that hold as much truth as the more well known ones."

"That's a good point, I guess, but I read that the Hero always wears green, that was _after_ I got nicknamed 'Grasshopper', I didn't know there was some trend."

"I wasn't aware of this...is that a recent development?" Zelda read reports of red garbed heroes, so was mystified by this news.

"I don't know, I read about it once, and figured if my grandma and a storybook says it, then there's not a reason to sit around and wait for Canon to show up...or whatever that demon guy's name is."

"Hey ladies, what's up?" the two turned to find a man in green clothes, sword and shield strapped to his back, grinning with his arms crossed. Suddenly a bright blue fairy floated out from behind him, "Is what Link says. He also say 'Speak of the demon king' and also says 'That you have a lovely green-'"

"Back off!" the four turned to find an angry red headed girl charging though the woods, "Back, I say! I saw that unrealistically white toothed grin, I know that cliche! The 'I never brush my teeth, but they shine like a pearl wrapped in a diamond bathing in the sun' smile!"

"Gasp!" Link shouted, jumping back at the outburst, then pointing at the little blue fairy.

"He says," the blue fairy began, "'Savi told me'—hey, I did not! Don't believe him! Don't believe a word he says! Oh, 'also,' he says, 'this is my annoying fairy, Savi', hey! Did you just call me annoying?!"

"Everyone's been after you, Linkle, Zoras and Hylians alike! What about that girl, Rutilah? I saw how she grabbed your face!" Malron's eye twitched in her rage, "That face is mine to clutch! Mine!"

"Um, Malron, it's okay, she wasn't herself...uh, I don't think." Linkle gasped as Link walked up to the Master Sword, "Oh, hey, guy, you better not do that, you might unleash some kind of crazy some-"

"No, wait, Link," Zelda cried, "it's a trap!"

"-thing." Linkle finished her sentence as thunder ripped through the sky.

"Ah!" Link stomped his foot and everyone looked around to see what happened.

"He says 'this is bad!'; I agree." Savi announced, "First time for that...it's the end of the world for sure."

"Yes, it is the end!" Ganondorf laughed from behind them, "Finally, I'm out of that annoying sword...well, call me in seven years, one for each Sage, I've got a kingdom to subjugate!"

"No you won't, I'll stop you here! Spirit Shot!" Linkle pulled her crossbows off her boots and started shooting at Ganondorf, but Link had silently sprinted to Ganondorf, and with his Pegasus Boots, he managed to catch friendly fire in record time, "Hey, warn me when he runs out like that!"

"What do I look like, an announcer?!" the blue fairy screeched, "'Oh, and now Link's running down the left field, but Linkle made a home run—on his _noggin'_ , is that what you want me to say?!"

"Uh, no, just before he runs out, thanks." Linkle winced.

"Oh, my, she winked at me!" the blue fairy exclaimed, "Whatever shall I do?! Swoons."

"Ah, Linkle!" Malron cried, "Tell me-"

"She's lying, so many lies!" Zelda yelled, as she turned a fairy loose on Link's fallen form, instantly bringing him back, "Why are you always lying, Savi?!"

"Whew...so, you didn't wink at her." Malron sighed, relieved.

"Malron, I would never," Linkle promised, "Because...I well, I li-"

"Who wants sleepy mushroom stew?!" Talron hollered.

"I must say, after a hundred years of being stuck in the Sacred Realm, I find this all very entertaining." Ganondorf suddenly frowned, "I have but complaint...your dad ruins this, red headed farm girl."

"What, you mean the romance," Malron furrowed her brow, "or-"

"Everything." Ganondorf whispered, dangerously, "And so I shall kill him, so my ship can sail without impediments!"

"Wait, what?!" Linkle and Malron cried in unison.

"Even a villain can see truth...and I...I see that Linron _must_ sail."

"No, about the whole killing her dad part!" Linkle corrected.

"Right, just because he gets in the way, it's no reason to hurt him!" Malron stepped forward, "I'll stop you myself if I have to!"

"Ha, I would never hurt him," Ganondorf smiled, gesturing for Talron to approach, "if I did, you two would just get upset."

"Dad, stay away from him, he's not someone you can trust!" Malron warned.

"Oh, you can trust me," Ganondorf grinned, "but really, this guy's a pain in the neck!"

Talron screamed as Ganondorf held him up by the neck.

"Why I ought to...Linkle, can I have an arrow?" Malron held out her hand and Linkle gave her an arrow and a rock, "You know me too well."

"Huh, is Linron stuff hap-" Ganondorf turned to fine Linkle staring pass him, but then Malron redefined "pain in the neck", and Ganondorf fell on the ground.

"Link says he wants to-" Savi raised her voice suddenly, "finish him!"

"Ugh!" Link's eyes widened in disbelief.

"I realize you didn't say anything yet, but you were thinking it awfully loud!" Savi defended.

Link nodded and turned the Master Sword underhanded, but before he stabbed Ganondorf through the heart as though he were a vampire, Linkle shot Ganondorf—who was trying to stand up—in the forehead, causing him to fade, "Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh!"

Redi and and Zelda shared a glance, the former preparing to speak as Zelda blushed furiously, "H-he, um, he just lost speaking privileges."

"Huh, what did he say?" Linkle inquired.

"Can you not tell from the awkward air with which Zelda and regard what he just said that he said something that you shouldn't repeat in the temple or in front of elderly people?!" Savi demanded, "He swore, okay? Cursed!"

"Anyways, Link should put the Master Sword back now," Zelda advised, "besides, that hazy phantom of Ganondorf is standing on the pedestal, the Master Sword must have been holding him in place there! I feel like this was an educational experience for everyone."

"I'll say! Zelda just learned some new words!" Savi laughed, "Huh, what's that? Link says he can't draw the Master Sword, it must be that blue aura around him, skull monsters have that effect, I hear a good rainstorm will clear you up...too bad Ganondorf seemed to be the root of that downpour, though."

And so the awkward group of people who hardly knew each other waited until Link could put the Master Sword back where he found it, and Zelda—secretly a princess—wrote specific instructions on several large tablets scattered about the towns and temples and all around the Master Sword itself, the instructions included an explanation on why.

The first warning was that if they weren't cleaving darkness off someone or breaking a barrier keeping them out of an area, to not draw the Master Sword, this, of course, may be completely ignored in the future, or forgotten altogether, it's quite likely that the Hylians will immediately use the tablets as drape holders as soon as Princess Zelda is laid to rest.

 **Mini Author's Notes: I don't know where Savi came from, or where she's off to...it's a secret to everybody, myself included...but if you're going to have a fairy for a mute guy who breaks pots, leads Peatrices on, and terrorizes cuccos (R.I.P. Whoever Tried That), then give his fairy an ironic name, especially if she's not so savvy herself!**

* * *

 **Puppy Bewitch!**

Syrup was angry. No one made her angry. She was so angry, she didn't know what she was going to do with herself, but she did know one thing, that roof was going to get fixed. It was such a simple thing Maple, Linkle, and Malron had forgotten, there were three of them, yet no one remembered to send for a carpenter, even Mutoh and Sons, a carpentry group stationed in Kakariko, would have done, and they weren't just second rate, they were _second_ second rate.

"Let's see, what's a good curse?" Syrup flipped through the pages of her book, "Hex-a-Decimal a Day", where she complied all sorts of wondrous spells that were, by all counts, perfectly legal...she kept the illegal spells closer to her heart, in case she had to step in to protect her varied and balanced agendas.

* * *

Now for her evil-but-not-really plan to come into play.

Which happens just as Malron and Linkle are having a moment, instead of Talron showing up, as Linkle and Malron leaned forward and gaze into each other's eyes, Malron turned into a puppy and fell into the picnic basket. At that time, Maple crashed nearby.

"What else is going to fall out of the sky?!" Linkle cried, "The moon?! Oh well, at least Malron is basket sized, maybe I'll take her to a Great Fairy's Fountain."

"Or Syrup, she probably has a cure for Malron," suddenly Malron emerged from the basket, barking happily, "oh, but _why_ would you want to cure her?"

"She is, cute, isn't she? B-but, she's probably tired of being a puppy right now, so...we should definitely cure her!" Linkle stood up and pulled her hood up, "To Syrup's-"

Linkle stared silently as Malron fell through the bottom of the basket, "Well, there goes that plan, Dot." Maple laughed, "I'll inform the witch of our situation."

"Y-yeah...and don't call me Dot! Why are you calling me that?" Linkle lifted Malron up and sighed, "I never know what to think of that junior witch."

* * *

After getting back to the village, Linkle ran into Maple, who had started flying back to where she found Linkle earlier.

"Hey, watch it!" Maple shouted, "Oh, Linkle, it's you! Syrup told me we had to go and grab some things from the woods!"

"Well, let's go get them, then!" Linkle cheered.

After returning and running back several different times, from the Snow Peak Summit to the Gerudo Desert, they finally had all the ingredients Syrup wanted.

"There, now you can change Mal back!" Linkle cheered.

"Yes, yes...ah, looks like you're insufferably gleeful even when you're running around doing quests...why?!" Syrup demanded.

"Because, it makes me feel like maybe I am the Hero, that one day I'll save Hyrule and...I don't know, I guess that's it." Linkle scratched behind Malron's ear, much the red puppy's delight.

"So...that's why...you do it for the warm and fuzzy feeling...I'll hurl _after_ you leave." Syrup leaned over the counter while Linkle held her hand like a bowl for Malron to drink the antidote from.

"Yep, I just feel so encouraged when I complete a quest!" Linkle confirmed, "Oh, hey, where's Maple? She said she'd meet up with-"

Suddenly Maple fell through the roof and rolled into the door, and laughed dazedly, "I just need two seconds, I'll be fine, ha, ha, ha."

"O-okay, Maple's being weird!" Linkle pointed out, "What if she has a concussion?!"

"She's fine, she has a potion on hand just in case."

"Huh?" Malron leaned up and fell into the hero's shoulder, "That was a weird dream...you were in it."

"U-um, good weird?" Linkle asked, "Like how mint tea is good but weird?"

"Hmm, not quite." Malron groaned, holding her head.

"So, how was it bad?"

"It wasn't bad...just weird."

"O-oh...because I was in it?" Linkle was rather crestfallen, Malron was featured in many of Linkle's dreams, so she had hoped Malron did as well.

"Because Syrup was in it...you kept going back to her place to make me a potion, she cursed me or something and...Maple crashed into a door...and then a thousand Stalchildren started dancing...or is the plural Stalchilds?"

"That sounds like a pretty crazy dream, there, Mal." Linkle replied rubbing her back, "But Syrup didn't curse you, and Maple crashes all the time, and I'm pretty sure there are no Stal...things around."

"You carried me, Linkle."

"Of course I did, Mal...I'd carry you any day." Malron turned her head to smile at Linkle, then sat up. As expected by everyone but Maple, Talron kicked in the door, smashing the mage into the wall.

"I ordered pizza!" Talron screamed.

"Dad, can't you see we're...in the middle of...Syrup's place?" Malron turned a suspicious gaze to Syrup, "You would never curse me to be a dog, though, right?"

"Ha, ha, of course not!" Syrup lied, "Now you two go so I can throw up...before I get cavities."

The pair leaved with a dazed Maple following, leaving Syrup to her darkness.

"I don't know why she dreamed of monsters at the end...but that was hauntingly accurate for a dream...somehow she was at least kind of conscious the whole time." Syrup rubbed her hands together as she considered the next curse she should use.

 **Mini Author's Notes: The title sounded like a spell Syrup would cast.**

* * *

 **Enthused Antics: Girls Reply to Ganondorf.**

Malron didn't know why she was summoned, neither did Linkle or Rutilah or Dargun or Impa or Savi or Zelda or Maple, but they did know one thing, Ganondorf's smile was freaky.

"Welcome to 'Girls Reply to Ganondorf!'" Ganondorf yelled, "You're goal is to view one Ganon or Ganondorf, and name the first thought that comes to mind!"

The girls exchanged glances and "I don't know" and "seems suspicious; we should investigate" and then turned to Ganondorf, "Okay, let's do it!" Linkle shouted.

"Begin!" Ganondorf roared, and suddenly they were sitting at their own panels. Ganondorf was surrounded by a tornado and altered his form, "First, OoT Ganondorf! Zelda, what's on your mind?"

"Hide...hide, hide, hide, run, run, hide, so hide, much run." Zelda ducked behind the panel, but was somehow short enough that ducking was unnecessary for hiding, "Why am I short and so...s-scared?"

"Hey, you made the poor kid cry! I call foul!" Maple slammed her hand into the table and was about to yell about hexes and decimals, when a buzzer went off.

"Out of turn!" Ganondorf shouted. "Next, Impa! OoT Ganon!"

Impa watched as he transformed into a boar type monster, "First reaction is to seal you...second is that I'm hungry. Anyone got any bacon? I want bacon...is that weird?"

"Linkle!" Ganondorf morphed into himself, except he had hair curlers, "TP Ganondorf!"

"Um...excuse me, Princess?" Savi coughed, then sputtered, and fell to the floor, laughing, "I-I just want to say—ha, those hair curlers...is this a bad time, Lord Ganondorf? I was hear to fight you, but if you're trying to fix your exotic red hair, I can come back another time!"

"Out of order...also...you're off my friend list." Ganondorf replied gravelly, "Maple! Here's...TP Ganon!"

"Wow...I found Impa's bacon." Maple sighed, bored, "That'll make a lot of bacon."

"Now I want rock sirloin!" Dargun shouted, "Why am I even here, this is a girl's only game show!"

"Quite right, but you're a Goron." Ganondorf noted, "So...you were a loophole...also, out of turn...and out of character...but since you're technically not a girl or canon...next! Wind Waker Ganondorf!"

Dargun shrugged disinterestedly, "I want to know why you don't wrestle, I mean, you have two swords...why? Why two swords _that_ long? Hey, two samurais called, they want their katanas back."

"Moving on! Rutilah!" Ganondorf shouted, "Wind Waker Ganon!"

"I can't say anything if you keep changing form." Rutilah groaned, "Besides, Zoras are gone by then."

"Malron!" Ganondorf turned to Malron, who was staring at him, entranced, an arrow in one hand, and a rock in the other, "AU Ganondorf!"

"I-I want to...oh, man...oh, man, oh man! O-oh...man," Malron shook as she bounced the rock in her hand, "that neck...I want to stab it _so_ much...c-can I stab you? I-I want to stab you!"

"Uh, ha, ha, no, thanks, I like being not stabbed—h-hey, get away from me!" Ganondorf jumped back as Malron rushed at him, meanwhile Linkle twiddled her thumbs.

"You guys reckon she can get him?" Linkle crossed her arms, "He seems pretty fast."

"In the meantime," Maple began, walking over to Impa, "there's a bacon to be had...considering she's a puppy mutant, I'm surprised Malron isn't getting in on the bacon."

"More for us!" Impa replied with a smirk, "After this, pancetta!"

"And a salad with bacon sprinkled over it!" Maple cried.

"A Triforce of cholesterol." Savi groaned.

"You misunderstand, we're having small servings...we're being careful." Impa assured, "So it's a Triforce of bacon and hog harmony!"

"Why doesn't anyone want my opinion?" a green haired girl asked, walking in behind Aryll.

"Yeah, what's up with this?" Aryll demanded, "I'm kind of tired, it's been a long day, and then I see my sister on the most famous game show ever! I ran over here to find the party ended...oh, look..Malron's trying to stab Ganondorf, let's go play pin the arrow through Ganondorf with her!"

"Okay, anything to keep him from spreading chaos!" the girl replied, skipping close behind Aryll.

"Now _I_ want to stab Ganondorf." Savi cried, "Too bad I'm so small."

"Don't worry, Savi, I'm sure you'll be able to aid Link in stabbing Ganondorf...where is he, anyways?"

"I don't know...Fi got assigned to him this time I think he's asleep or in jail...I swear, if it's not one thing, it's another!" Savi sighed, "I just hope he isn't smashing the pots in an angry person's home."

* * *

Meanwhile, in a Gerudo prison, Link was playing the ocarina in what his fellow prisoners liked to call, "The Gerudo Blues", about how they all got locked up without a hookshot. Unfortunately, nobody thought to climb the window or use Farore's Wind or reload their game...whatever that was.

 **Mini Author's Notes: So, one night a made this title...then the story...IDK what I was thinking, except that I needed another mini chapter and wanted to parody Malron stabbing and YouTube videos about reactions, and to start a series of Enthused Antics, but I will say this that I know to be true: The Unplanner's story "The Shipping Wars" was awesome and I like it a lot, and I read it recently, but I read it a little while back, so the idea of a bunch of girls competing was still fresh in mind, so uh, yeah...that's why a bunch of girls are...competing...Dargun was a very fun exception...I almost threw Ghirahim's fabulous self in there, too, though! Maybe in the next Enthused Antic?**


	7. Legend of Linkle: CGA 7

**Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures 7**

 **Hug Pounces, Zelda Romance, and Ganondorf Being Weird**

Malron looked around outside her home, wondering where Linkle could be. Suddenly the shutters slammed open and when she looked up, Linkle was leaning out the window, "Return of the queen!"

"Zoras?" Malron inquired.

"Nope, nothing serious, just me," Linkle used a clawshot to get to another roof and then to a crate next to Malron, "the Queen of Hug Pounces!"

"You realize I'm your sole target, right?" Malron sighed, "You hardly have many subjects, for a queen."

"But I cherish them all equally." Linkle smiled, then pushed Malron's shoulder, "Now run."

Malron sighed, a wry smirk on her lips, "Fine."

She ran as far as where the path to the woods opened up before she heard Linkle thundering behind her. She narrowed her eyes and turned to Linkle. In the past, sudden change in direction was the only way to avoid getting caught, but this time she had a different goal.

Malron struck her heel into the ground and spun around, crashing into Linkle, "Hug pounce!"

Linkle grunted under the slightly taller redhead and pushed herself up on her arms before falling back down and "I-I see that! Okay, you have me."

"Yes!" Malron laughed cheekily, "I _do_ have you."

"You're still anxious about the Zora, aren't you?" Linkle sighed, "I'm telling you, it's just a parody!"

"Oh, I'm not worried...I'm just wondering when it'll be my turn to get carried."

"But romance is never the center of the adventure-" suddenly Zelda in a pink, realistic-but-not-hardly dress walked by them, accompanied by Illia, "Okay, well, maybe in a bit? Just hang on."

"I'm beginning to fear fate doesn't ship it." Malron sighed.

"Don't worry," Linkle winked, "I'll always be our biggest fan!"

"Senpai!" Ganondorf cried, "Oh man, I'm your ship's biggest fan!"

"Nope." Linkle snapped her fingers and Ganondorf vanished, "I'm not in the mood to deal with yandere Ganondorf...or even mildly fanboy Ganondorf."

The phantom of Ganondorf that started to appear faded, and a Ganondorf appeared up against a tree, "Hmm, Linkle, Malron...don't ask why I'm here, not like I want to rule the world or anything, stupid."

Malron and Linkle exchanged a glance before walking away.

"Of course...leave, not like I wanted to get an autograph, dummy."

 **Mini ANs: Um...yeah, this is...crazy enough?  
**

* * *

 **Drake Dad**

Volga wondered how he got into this situation. Some prank of the gods, to send a little girl on his path to Death Mountain to challenge a mighty Goron army, he almost passed her, but looking at her, he realized something was off.

"Hylians are like animals...so where's the human cub's mother?" Volga turned to the sky and thought of sighing a breath of flame, but didn't want to burn the woods, "Human girl, where is your mother?"

The blonde child merely stared at him, clutching a compass in her hands, "I-I...don't...know."

Volga grimaced and the girl ran to hide behind a tree, "Din...what is this you're doing? A test of strength? Hmm...patience is strength...fine, I'll take care of the girl."

Volga stepped to the side, his lips shaking as he turned them into a smile, "Hello, little human cub, it's bad for you to be out in the rain like this, I have a liar five miles into the woods, and until I find your herd you'll have to tolerate my...smile challenged face. Trust me, this is more scary for me than it is for you, I was about to have the fight of my life before _you_ came along, now I have to wait until you've molted to your adult stage before flying to Death Mountain, annoying brat."

Volga took a wrong step and received a hit upside his head from the compass, which landed in his hand, "What...why did you-"

The girl stepped up to him with a grimace of her own. He sighed and tossed the compass next to her, "I don't fight weaklings." suddenly five Skulltulas landed around them, "But it looks like I have no say in the matter...this time."

After a brief fight in which he kept the monsters at bay until they died, he turned to find the human child standing behind him, "Now, we should go before more show up."

"M-my name...is Linkle." the girl whispered hoarsely.

"Okay...Linkle." Volga didn't know why his lips felt weird, but after tracing them he found them curved into some strange shape, but Linkle was smiling at the expression he wore, "Am I smiling?"

Linkle nodded happily and he felt his smile grow bigger.

* * *

The years went by and Linkle's metamorphosis was complete, she was was finally an independent human, but for some reason she still hung around.

"Why are you still here? Isn't your adolescent phase complete?" Volga wondered.

"Of course it is, but...I don't know, you _are_ my dad, right?" Linkle crossed her arms, "Besides, I got you hooked on human food, now I can go to the town by myself and you don't need to run around with that green cloak you found on that tree I woke up under."

"It never fit me anyways, it was always so awkward to walk around like that in a city."

"You like humans now, don't you?" Linkle beamed.

"N-no...maybe with one exception...is this what human parents put up with?"

"Ah, I didn't disappoint you, did I?" Linkle whined.

"N-no, of course not! You're...you're going to be the death of me!"

"I'm going to go to the village nearby, okay, Dad?"

"Face...palm."

"What was that, Dad?"

"Just be careful, remember the powers I taught you and be wary of humans...they don't deserve to count you among them." Volga pulled on an apron he had grown accustom to wearing and pulled out a pan, "Dinner will be done around evening."

"Okay, great Dad, I'll be back in a couple hours!" Linkle closed the door behind her, two seconds later she opened the door again, "You marked the path right?"

"Just follow the coals on the ground." Volga replied.

"Okay, great!" Linkle left again, and opened the door a second time, "Can I have that green cloak? I like green and-"

"Yes." Volga waited for Linkle to leave again, "You want to look like the Hero...but why would you want to save a country that doesn't know you...why do you think our Heroes are forgotten? People forget not the songs...but to sing...and then they forget the songs. Whatever, I know you're a human because you're unreasonable."

* * *

Linkle came back a little later than usual, and Volga was halfway to the village when his adoptive daughter and a red haired young woman that he never saw before, "Linkle, you had me worried sick!"

"Sorry, Dad!" Linkle grimaced and the young woman looked between them.

"Um, I know you said I wouldn't believe it...but you're father is a monster?" the woman inquired.

"Linkle...you told her about me?" Volga crossed his arms, "If her herd found out-"

"We were searching for her father, so I said how mine was so reliable an always found me, the reverse of her situation." Linkle explained, "She's very nice, she's loved by a horse that apparently doesn't like anybody much...which is why it was strange the horse liked me."

"My name's Malron." the red head extended her hand and Volga narrowed his gaze, begrudgingly extending his own hand to banish the frown on Linkle's face.

"Volga, I'm Linkle's father." Volga introduced himself, "Excuse my being a monster."

"Monster...is relative," Malron replied, so genuinely, it stung Volga, somewhere in his chest, though he wasn't quite sure where, "you raised such a wonderful person, how could you be a monster?

"How do you make that conclusion?" Volga crossed his arms, "I kept her alive, but she is herself."

Ah, right...you raised such a happy person, so how could you be a monster?" Malron corrected herself, smiling. It was going to be an interesting new point in their lives, from that day Malron appeared in the woods with Linkle.

* * *

After a while, the girl and Linkle had taken to spending time together around the liar, which was a place he didn't approve of a human wandering. One evening he found Malron showing Linkle the proper form for wielding a long bow, then handed her the bow. Linkle's form was immediately perfect, so Malron handed her an arrow.

Just as Volga was about to retreat some strong looking Hylian Volga had never seen before ran up to Linkle...who still had the arrow drawn, "Get down!" Volga shouted.

Linkle turned away from the man, arrow pointed to the ground, "Talron, what are you doing here?!"

"Oh, well...I was about to say, dinner's done." Talron waved for them to follow.

* * *

Similar occurrences followed, where Linkle and Malron were standing close, one of them usually blushing, and they turn to meet the other's gaze, always to be interrupted by Talron. As a father, he decided he'd have to have a talk with Malron's father, either he was just jumping to conclusion, or it was painfully obvious that the pair—for whatever reason—didn't want to be interrupted.

"Ahem, Talron," Volga began, setting down his glass of milk, "thank you for your hospitality, but I came here to address the issue of our daughters...I fear they may be in love...whatever that is."

"Love? You sure about that?" Talron was perfectly oblivious, but Volga nodded.

"I'm certain...and it seems for all the world that you intend to postpone them...but take it from me, trying to delay the inevitable just makes it hurt that much worse when you fail...I knew Linkle would try to find a herd of humans...um, village, and that we would probably grow further apart...I have decided to embrace the short time left, rather than begin a never ending hike through the woods."

"I still don't see it, I just thought they were real good friends." Talron took another gulp of milk, "But I won't try to stop them either way."

"Yet you always show up at _just_ the wrong moment...it's uncanny."

"Thank you."

Volga groaned tiredly. This was one battle he wasn't going to win.

On the way back, in the woods, Talron suddenly ran passed Volga. Upon arriving on the scene, Volga found Talron shouting, while Linkle was rubbing her head against Malron's shoulder.

"Dad...how many mushrooms _did_ you have this time?!" Malron demanded, pulling one hand from behind Linkle's back.

Volga knew it was going to be an interesting, humorous life, on the day Talron's habits came to light.

 **MA/N: This almost was serious...but that would have required another story. Also, the initials for Mini Author's Notes is pretty funny.**

* * *

 **Be Always Ready!**

"Linkle," the Great Deku Tree began, "now begins thine quest."

"Yes, Da—uh, Great Deku Tree!" Linkle agreed.

"But be warned: It is dangerous to go alone, take this fairy on thy sojourn." suddenly a red fairy flew over Linkle, "Her name art thine mind's state: Redi."

"Yippee, a guardian fairy!" Linkle started on a jig to celebrate, when the fairy swirled around her, distracting her.

"I'm Redi, your guardian fairy!"

"I'm ready, too, let's go save the world and chew gum!" Linkle reached into her pocket and sighed sadly, "Aw, I'm all out of gum."

* * *

At the end they were, Seventh Sage awakened and captured. Now they stood to fight against Ganondorf, and Linkle readied the Master Sword, which consumed—in a great blaze—the three Spiritual Gemstones.

"Ha, ha, ha, tell me, kid, before I kill you in a horribly bloody manner, what is your name?" Ganondorf inquired.

"I am-" Linkle began.

"Redi!" Redi shouted, and Ganondorf held his hand over his chest. He fell to the ground and spewed his corrupted, green blood upon the tiles, but instead of a liquid, it was a vile mist.

"H-how...why?" Ganondorf fell upon the ground with a mighty roar.

"Redi, what did you do?!" Linkle wondered, shocked.

"I spoke out of turn, plus my name was so ironic with what you said that he's dead...his sense of humor was basically corrupted, like his blood, so he can't comprehend a real joke!"

"O-oh...does that mean I don't need the Master Sword?" Linkle wondered.

"Worry about that later, time to carry the second princess in the game!" Redi announced.

"Got it," Linkle grunted as she hefted Zelda upright, "but why do I have to carry Zelda?"

"To show the true power of your compass?" Redi offered, as they walked into a not-really-ambush.

"Makes sense." Linkle mused, untouched, and Zelda opened all the gates with a flick of her wrist.

On the way down the passed Samus, who said something about a Dark Samus holding her up.

* * *

As the ran away, Ganon's Tower fell. Linkle turned around and stared at the debris.

"I sense...it's not over yet." Zelda breathed.

"I'll go finish him with the Master Sword, then." Linkle sat Zelda down and drew the sacred blade.

The sacred blade was immediately knocked out of her hand, "Oh, well, looks like I won't, then."

Linkle smiled and grabbed her crossbows, but Ganon was too fast and she couldn't get a hit in before he was within swinging range of her, so she pulled Biggoron's Blade off her back and struck at him. This was the blade she wielded when the Master Sword was still at half strength, back then Biggoron's Blade was four times as powerful as the Master Sword, but now it was only twice as strong, and still half as easy to use, which basically meant it was the same difference, except the enemy might die before it hurt her Heart.

Linkle charged in, deft dodges and well timed blocks and counters. She truly was a weapon master, but then something tragic and unforeseen happened: Biggoron's Blade broke just pass the hilt.

"T-that's fine, we just need to hit his tail, anyways!" Linkle decided, delivering another scratch from her broken blade. Suddenly Ganon fell over and Zelda paralyzed Ganon, then called Linkle back to get the Master Sword, but just as she was half way there, she ran into the wall of fire, "It was a trick?! Ganon was only playing dead...ha, I didn't know old pigs could learn new tricks."

"Hurry, Linkle, grab the blade end and have Redi distract Ganon with a joke!" Zelda suggested, "Meanwhile _fuse_ the blade and hilt back together with the sacred flame of your soul!"

"Oh, good plan!" Linkle approved, "I'll find the blade!"

Linkle ran back to Ganon, rolled under his stubby legs, and looked to her compass, "Seeker, seek out the blade of Biggoron's Broken Blade!"

Linkle ran to the blade and held the two ends together, "Fusing Flames!" suddenly the sword's break was engulfed in flames, but Ganon's stomps interrupted her. She stopped the spell and ran with the two ends, and cast a curious glance at the princess, who was trying to wriggle the Blade of Evil's Bane through the wall of fire.

"Linkle, this is a Diablos X firewall, there's no way the Blade of Evil's Bane can cleave it...ironically enough." Zelda frowned, "Yet it could cut a wall of darkness...maybe it has to do with your soul."

"You'll figure something out if I can't!" Linkle tried to encourage the princess, but Zelda was still glum.

"I don't know...maybe the Arrow of Light can pierce it!" Zelda strung an arrow stepped backwards until the arch was perfect, "Goddess of Wind...please guide my shot!"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Cosmos Castle Observatory, a divine meeting took place.

"Hmm, a call for divine intervention!" Farore reached forward, but the arrow bounced off the firewall's invisible-unless-required-roof, "Aw...and she asked so nicely, too!"

Din stomped her foot, "Fire's my deal, man, he's going down...in a blaze of glory!"

Nayru laughed, "You and your fire jokes! But the battle of the Triforces and their vessels cannot be interfered with directly by the gods who created the Triforce...which means us, unfortunately."

"Well, Zelda is outside the ring...Nayru, can you do anything?" Farore inquired.

"Ah, that's a loophole!" Din cheered, "We can _all_ do something, thanks to the unspecified mention of the 'gods' who made the Triforce, not just Nayru...who's representative is outside the battle."

"Hang on!" Nayru stepped forward and opened her arms, "Zelda gave Linkle advice...she did her part."

All the gods present winced, Nayru was right, there was nothing they could do, so it was up to Farore to send a breeze down to refresh and encourage the Hero.

* * *

The time spent in the warm arena was overbearing, and Linkle felt like falling down, but then a gently breeze swept over the battlefield, as evidenced by the movement of Zelda's hair, _"Come on, Linkle, the gods are watching! And the one who guides the winds and my Triforce to me...the wind, connected...yet physically not...oh, well, a bad plan is better than none!"_

As Redi bombarded Ganon with more jokes, Linkle looked at the two ends of the blade in her hand and used them both on Ganon's tail, sending him down twice as fast. Zelda paralyzed Ganon again and Linkle ran to Ganon's forehead and held the point of the blade to his head, using the palm of her other hand to push the steel point against Ganon's forehead.

"Binding Blade!" she shouted, a golden light shining from her compass and blue lines running along the blade, which sunk into Ganon's skull. He suddenly rose and stumbled backwards, roaring in agony.

Zelda called upon the Sages and they encircled him. Zelda laid a hand on the blade in Ganon's forehead, and with a collective cry, they sealed Ganon away.

Linkle would never forget that word, that one, mighty, demon shattering word. "Nope!"

 **MAN: Redi's...ready. Okay, so Savi was going to be a red fairy named Redi, but since she was with Link, she had to be blue, so I held onto Redi for later.**

 **Enthused Antics: Add Sage, Pinch of Thyme**

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen," Ganondorf greeted, "to Hyrulean kitchen, today we have a very special guest, Linkle!"

The curtains raised to reveal Linkle standing alongside the Sages.

Impa held up two frying pans, Linkle aimed her crossbows and shouted, "Lava Bomb!" and two fiery orange blasts exploded against the frying pans.

Zelda, standing behind Impa, readied several arrows, all had bacon strips skewered to them, with a cry of "Scattered Light Pierce!", the arrows rained upon the pans, sticking holes through them.

Rutilah ran towards Linkle with an arm full of tomatoes. Linkle knelt down and boosted her so she could scatter the tomatoes onto the frying pans, she slung slivers of water at the red orbs before they even got close to the frying pan, and shouted, "Aqua Slice!"

"Meanwhile the other Sages are working on the dough!" Ganondorf announced, rotating the stage to reveal a green haired Sage standing before the wheat.

"Rising Gale!" she cried, jumping with a spin, catching the grain that flew up in a sack, then tossed it to Dargun.

"Boulder Roll!" Dargun shouted, strapping the sack to his back and rolling around until the he ground up the contents into flour.

Rutilah chopped some lettuce while the others worked on throwing the ingredients around before setting it aside.

"But we don't have all day for the dough to rise, so they'll use the bread they made earlier!" Ganondorf announced.

Impa slammed the pans into the counter, freeing bacon and tomatoes from the skewering arrows, and emptied the pans onto the bread and added lettuce, then Ru, Sage of Light, carried the sandwich to Nabooru, who sprinkled sand on it and sat a fork next to it. Having put the sand into sandwich, Ru brought the sandwich to Ganondorf and passed the plate to him.

Ganondorf took one bite before spitting out the food, and took the water Malron offered him, "Wait, Malron?!" Ganondorf gasped.

"Ha, ha." Malron grinned and took the fork off the plate the Sages have given them, the curtains closed, stage set for the ultimate assassination plot.

 **MANs: Linkle's role was kind of small, but as the Hero, she has the power to cook with the Sages, what more do you need? This was made to answer that age old question which keeps us _all_ up at night: Just how many Sages _does_ it take to make a sandwich? The answer is seven, one to add the sand. Thank you, good night, I'm here all week. Easiest one week vacancy ever.**


	8. LoL: Chibi Great Adventures 8

**Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures 8**

 **The Legend of Linkle, RWBY Inspired, Setting is of My Hyrule Academy Story**

Linkle had never been to the warrior school before, despite being a full two years older than her little sister. Once there she found the sparring hall where her sister had trained, with a blade that looked similar to Aryll's.

The instructor at the sparring hall asked Aryll to get her sister up to speed on things, so they found themselves in the empty building before class.

"So, what do you think?" Aryll.

"I think," Linkle said, pointing at the weapon on the desk, "that's a nice blade."

"It's also a wand!" Aryll beamed proudly, "But you need magic to use it as anything other than a blade. It looks like you have two weapons on your footwear, though. Those are new...the resent Malron gave you, right?"

"Oh, yeah, they're crossbows...u-um, they...might double as a melee weapon...if you strike like you're punching something."

"Well, sometimes that happens...it's better than being stuck with a sword, though."

"I can use magic, too, my element is fire!"

"That's handy...so, do your crossbows have a name? You also need a theme song, school rules."

"Um...for a name...I'll get back to you on that."

* * *

After training, Linkle found herself in her room, which she shared with a silent swordsman, who spent most of her time sketching. While not talkative, she smiled when she talked about her father, though she said nothing of her mother, the deep lines on her face said enough.

" _Probably corruption...the war against the Gerudo not too long ago saw intense training on knight mages, her mom was probably one of the many who's soul couldn't handle the frequent and unrelenting training."_ Linkle tried to think of something else, "S-so, brothers or sisters?"

"Only child. I...my father always dreamed of having a son, yeah? You may have met him, he was kicked out of the Hylian Knights and went on to become a captain, he works in the sparring hall...before you ask, he was kicked out because the other knights are spineless, gutless cowards, yeah?"

"So, uh, what's you're theme?"

"My theme is...that training song about being swifter than Zora's River, more serene than Lake Hylia, and more mysterious than the Goddess of the Moon."

"Oh, and that part where they only send daughters when he asked for...oh."

"It's a joke in our family, yeah?" Ashei shrugged, "What's yours?"

"Haven't thought of one...or a name for my weapon." Linkle furrowed her brows, "But my element is fire, so I should come up with something...fiery."

* * *

A week later the school was overrun with monsters, and when Linkle showed up, an electric rendition of a famous instrumental piece played. She leaped into the air and held down the triggers of her crossbows, "Come on Ember Celica! Twin Flare!"

Several blasts erupted all around her. And when she landed, fire cloaked her, "I burn."

 **Mini Author's Notes: Yeah...Linkle's fire based and has two guns...and is stronger when the heat's really on, or at least, her compass does a thing.**

 **Revenge of the Witch, Return of the Puppy**

Syrup finally had it, the perfect hex! Malron would have endless sneezing fits, no one liked those, and Maple and Linkle would get tired of hearing her sneezing and eventually abandon her, leaving to feeling guilty, and one feeling pathetic! It was the perfect revenge. She smiled to herself and waited for the three to enter the hut, as foretold by the Elder Script.

She smiled to herself as she gestured to the chatting group, unaware of their imminent demise, well, sneeze, but demise sounded more ominous. Something strange happened, though, apparently the last curse Syrup inflicted on her wasn't completely removed, as two ears popped out of the side of her head when she sneezed, Linkle immediately noticed that.

"Ah, how cute!" Linkle scratched Malron's left puppy ear and Malron closed an eye as Linkle's arm moved her hair into her face.

"Hey, cut it out." Malron stepped back scratched her ear, "Ah...great, now I can't stop, it's like sneezing."

"Ah, I get it." Syrup laughed, _"She's resisting the sneeze curse because of the already present puppy curse...which means one will occur when the others effect ends."_

"What to you get, Syrup?" Maple raised an inquiring eyebrow and Syrup smiled.

"Nothing, nothing at all." suddenly Syrup's nose grew longer.

"Ha, I knew I could sneak a curse on you sometime! Now, did you do this to Malron?"

"N-no!" Syrup's nose grew again and knocked a cup of tea onto the floor, "Fine, I did...whenever she sneezes, she'll get those cute puppy ears, and the unnerving urge to scratch them will drive her crazy!"

"This isn't fair!" Malron yelled cupping her puppy ears.

"Don't worry, as long as you're sitting down, Linkle can scratch your ears." Maple smirked, "There, Syrup, your curse is ineffective."

"Uh, I...um, Malron, you know I love you, but I can't scratch your ears forever." Linkle sighed.

"Ah, but she'll also howl at the moon, and whimper all night, just like a puppy!" Syrup cackled and then coughed, "Don't smoke, kids."

"You're evil!" Linkle stepped forward and pointed at Syrup, "Return Malron to her true form...which is this sans ears. I mean this form without the puppy ears! Don't play smart with me!"

"Oh, but do ask that I turn her to the way she was, so I can turn her into a puppy and gloat about how you're wish is granted!" Syrup laughed.

"Don't worry, Linkle, I'll hold her off, you just run to town and buy a dog house," Maple turned to Malron, who was growling in a corner, scratching her ears, "and maybe a cone or something, hey, stupid, you're going to hurt your ears like—oh, man, hurry, Linkle, before I can only think of her as Puppy!Malron...too late, buy her a collar, and a name tag, and dog bowls, and a chew toy."

"I'll be back before you know it! Don't worry, Malron, just hold on!" Linkle cried, running out the door.

"I'll try!" Malron replied uncertainly.

"Alright, so, you think you can hex with the master?" Syrup snarled at Maple, "Show me what you managed to learn from me."

* * *

An hour of howling in pain later, and the door flew open.

"Am I glad to see—Linkle?" Maple winced at the red and gold suit that Linkle wore, and watched as she finished tinkering with the compass's chain. Linkle put the compass on and smiled as it came to rest over her heart.

"I am the golden light, the burning pyre...I am...Fe-Mail!" Linkle sparkled in a beam of light that broke through the hole in the roof.

"Female?" Syrup and Maple asked in unison.

"Fe, the periodic table's symbol for iron!" Linkle explained, "And I'm in mail armor, so...i-it's a pun."

Syrup frowned at Maple, who snorted in amusement, and glared at Malron, who couldn't stop laughing, "I bet you told her this? Nerd."

"Hey, Syrup," Maple wagged her finger, "don't pretend that you're not a nerd, too!"

"I still have a better sense of humor that Linkle's sidekick over there." Syrup gasped, "And why am I just letting her explain and not trying to hex someone?"

"Shush, Linkle's still talking." Maple returned her attention to Linkle, who'd been trying to explain it again to Syrup.

"Never mind the joke, the only way to save Malron from the curse is through me!" Syrup roared.

"Hmm, I have just the thing, then!" Linkle opened a bottle of water and splashed it at the hag, "Water fixes everything, according to the label!"

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha I'm melting, I'm melting into a helpless giggle fit!" Syrup laughed, sinking to the floor, "Whew, that was funny, you thought that's my weakness...what witch has that as a weakness?"

"U-uh," Linkle hid the 'How to Slay a Wicked Witch' guide behind her back and shook her head, "n-no one?"

"Right, now, then, Iron Girl, let's fight, you and me!"

"It's Fe-Mail!" Linkle roared, charging at the witch.

"Banana Slip!" Syrup yelled, gesturing at the floor.

Linkle danced around the peels and finally found her footing, one hand under her compass, "One Shot!"

"W-what?" Syrup winced at the name and stared at Linkle, "What kind of attack is that? Anyways, might as well take away your compass, worse than a curse for you, I bet."

Syrup took one step and a blast of light exploded from Linkle's compass, leaving the witch slightly charred. Maple poured water on her boss and smiled sheepishly, three seconds later, Syrup unleashed her super charged gust bellows, but between the four of them, their was no way they'd be one shot defeated, so to compensate for that, the house went up.

"Alright, folks, emergency exits are...there, there and there," Maple shrugged, "but honestly, I wouldn't try jumping out those windows if I were you, kind of cramped. See ya around, Syrup!"

Linkle scooped Malron up in her arms and leaped out the window, while Maple flew up the fireplace. Syrup tried to open the door and fly out like a normal, self-respecting human who didn't like being creative unless it was hexing, but...the door, for some reason, didn't budge. The house didn't land...at least, not in their general location.

* * *

Somewhere in the middle of the desert, two witches chanted, or rhymed, none of the Gerudo present were sure which it was, but right in the middle of it, a small hut fell down and crushed them, leaving only their feet sticking out from under it.

"Yay, they're dead!" the Gerudo cheered, "Now we don't have to be heartless invaders, because the wicked witches are dead!"

"Oh, hey, I feel a musical number coming up!" Aveil sang, "Dear Goddess of the Sands! You must have sent a hero or more from other lands! To save us, to liberate us...we thank you very sweetly, for handling this so neatly!"

Suddenly Syrup wandered out, looking around, "Where am I? What year is it?"

"Are you the Goddess of the Sands?"

"No." Syrup shook her head and turned away, "Just no."

Aveil turned to the Princess of Gerudo, "You should knock."

Nabaru turned around and knocked at the door, "Goddess, I know you're in there...my people have been asking where you've been, you told us to wait for you, and we're trying to, but if you would just-"

"Go away, Nabaru." Syrup ordered evenly.

"Okay..bye." Nabaru turned to the others and shook her head, "Might as well enshrine her, though."

 **MAN: So, yeah...this was fun. And maybe epic?!**

 **Amused Antics: Ganondorf, Demonic Marionettist**

Ganondorf's game show got violent, fast. Everyone knew it would come down to this.

Ganondorf laughed, moving the puppets on stage, "Linkle attacked the Sages, Malron alongside her-"

"Ahem, Ganondorf?" Linkle tapped her chin, "just what are you doing? Is this me? Why am I shooting those Sages?"

"Because...it's fanfiction, deal with it." Ganondorf snorted derisively before turning back to the puppets, but Syrup cut the strings, "Hey!"

"Hey yourself, there's kids watching! Now we've got to bump the ratings up!" she whipped out her gust bellows and blasted Ganondorf to the moon.

* * *

It was there that he found a hidden evil, long sealed up in the core of Farore's Eye and realized that if someone gave the cursed mask to someone and control them through the mask, then that someone would have a really apocalyptic situation to boast about.

And it was at this moment a certain Skullkid waltzed upon the grand stage, all the while, Ganondorf was unaware he was playing into the hand of a greater puppeteer, call it fate, destiny, a curse, or a random author who strayed off the path of convention.

 **MAN: I think I'm serious about the moon's name...or at least for a nickname, after all, the moon's always held a fascination with people, being so mysterious and...distant, so the Oracle of Secrets and Mysteries (read: Goddess of Secrets and Mysteries) may even live there, and in a region's resident sentient tree when the local Hero needs a secret.**

 **Also, I'm so serious about Ganondorf's title, it's perfect, imagine in TP's style, Ganondorf's boss title is "Ganondorf: Demonic Marionettist", and he'd have all these string based attacks, and cause party members to attack each other and...now I'm getting ahead of myself!**

 **Tales of Zelda, Obvious Zestiria Reference is Obvious**

Linkle climbed the Tal Tal Mountains in search of truth, justice, and spiritual power. She drew the Master Sword from the Temple of Time and sallied forth on a mission to quell Malevolence and stop the Lord of Calamity. Fi warned her that though she may be the Shepherd, she is not fated to even meet the Lord of Calamity.

"I'll take my chances." Linkle smirked as they left the stalls and marble of Castle Town far behind them.

"Linkle, there is only an eighty percent chance you could withstand the power of his domain, and a twenty-two percent chance of a battle in which you walk away alive." Fi paused before providing a solution, "Perhaps you can find others to recruit to your cause, I predict a dramatic rise in a success rate in your favor in that instance."

"Well, I'll find more people, then." Linkle said decidedly.

* * *

This brought her to the first person, who was not only scared of heights, but was also a natural combatant, having picked up the bow at an early age, but for now Linkle only knew her as the redhead who was stuck at the top of a mountain, her name was Malron.

Within weeks Linkle had four Squires and fairies who would aid them in battle, and acquired the spiritual powers, the only thing left was the grand finale, a showdown with Ganondorf, the Lord of Calamity.

Linkle turned around to find the Hyruleans who followed her on the treacherous path, all pure of heart enough to communicate with the fairies, Sari, Rutilah, Dargun, and Malron, with the fairies, Windi, Savi, Rocki and Redi, Linkle and Fi made five, and with their powers of Armatus, they stood a better chance of with Ganondorf than Fi could have predicted, but just because they could stand a chance didn't mean much until the final results were in.

"I was wondering when you would appear again, Shepherdess," Ganondorf laughed as he rose from his throne, "our last engagement was cut short."

"I...I'm not afraid of you anymore!" Linkle took a step forward, eyes trained on Ganondorf, "I've seen how you turned...and I've learned something invaluable on my journey."

"Good, because it ends here!" Ganondorf drew his sword and rushed at the small party, but they Armatized and blocked, the powers of wind, earth, water, and fire sending the four away, leaving Ganondorf in the middle with Linkle and Fi, the duo blocked and parried Ganondorf with Fi's blade or Linkle's shots. Ganondorf jumped up and sailed backwards on a dark gale and regarded them with amusement, "Ha, ha...how very amusing. Share with me, what did you learn? That no one is safe from the power of corruption, or that creatures of light are drawn to evil like a moth to the flame?"

"I learned...that nobody asks for this! Even you had a vision, sure your path was uncertain, but you wanted what was best for your people!" Linkle held her compass out, "Now...embrace the Flames of Purification!"

"Ha, ha, ha...only you can stop me, do you realize what that truly means?" Ganondorf inquired, weaving past Linkle's shots, "It means that I'm even more powerful than one can naturally achieve! I've embraced this change, it fuels me, I only regret letting you slip through my fingers!"

"Linkle," Fi called out, "there's a zero percent chance that he's attempting to deceive us to us, and a zero percent chance that he can be Purified, and a fifty percent chance that you can kill him before he unleashes the full power of his Triforce of Power."

"There's got to be some other way!" Linkle danced around Ganondorf as he started his attack.

"You can still seal his Malevolence using the Master Sword, but at his current power level, it would be impossible to to impale him and absorb it without first stunning him." Fi dive-bombed into Ganondorf and faced Linkle, "The power of the Seeker should be sufficient, it will take time, but if you channel enough energy, you could, in theory, unleash a powerful attack that would blast the Malevolence away from Ganondorf's Heart, leaving him vulnerable and stunned, but there's a one hundred percent chance that you will be completely exposed during the process, you will not be able to do this successfully unless you are in an Armatized state. While using the Armatus I can focus energy, while you attack, block, dodge, whatever is required in this fight, but it will be up to you to summon the name of the attack."

Linkle nodded and raised her hand, "Goddess' Sword!" Fi vanished in Linkle's frame and Linkle's appearance altered to display Fi's colors, the Master Sword in one hand and a crossbow in the other, and her compass started glowing, "And the name of the attack will be...Light Burst."

"Confirmed, charging Light Burst now." Fi's voice echoed in Linkle's head and the compass began giving off a faint glow, "Be aware that Ganondorf is trying to charge his power, as well, the only way to stop him is to stun him, but he cannot stop us so long as you remain conscious and fully functional."

Linkle nodded and noticed the Squires using attacks she knew to have stunning qualities. They battled Ganondorf for a full minute before the attack was ready, but when Linkle unleashed the attack and charged to impale him, he transformed into a large, green, boar monster, "U-uh, Fi, explain this!"

"This is Ganondorf's final form, when he is up against a challenge he, like you, can increase his power beyond his normal limits, such is the power of the Triforce of Power. He is able to maintain this form indefinitely, whereas your compass does not alter your form nor is it known to provide such long lasting boons.

"He's also summoned Bokoblins and Iron Knuckles!" Rocki announced, "Leave them to me and Dargun."

"That's right, Brother, we've got the small fries!" Dargun confirmed.

"They're hardly anything 'small' about them," Rutilah pointed out, "so Savi and I will help."

"My arrows can temporarily stun him," Malron remarked, "even if they aren't arrows of light, which is good, since fire and ice are faster. Redi and I will fight him with you, Linkle."

"Alright, let's hit him with everything we have!" Linkle charged in, weapons ready, "Fi, can you charge the Seeker up?"

"It will take longer this time, the Seeker must first cool down, and then I must charge for another Light Burst." Fi informed.

Ganondorf's twin zwiehanders kept Linkle on her toes, but with Malron stunning him and Dargun and Rutilah keeping the grunts off her back, she remained unharmed until the time for the Light Burst arrived, but before it did, Fi had yet another report.

"As I was charging, I analyzed Ganon's skin, in this state his skin is too powerful to be cut alone, I will call on the Lords of the Land to aid us in battle, two of them are already present, Rutilah and Dargun will need to Dearmatize, leaving Malron as your only Squire."

"I wouldn't count on that!" all present turned to find Aryll and Ashei, blades drawn.

"Take us on, yeah? Your little sis looks up to you, and you've taught me that killing these monsters isn't the answer...so let us help!" Ashei kept her eye on the little red fairy that flew up to her.

"Linkle, she can see us, too!" Redi chimed.

"Fi, give them the Pact!" Linkle split from Fi and backflipped away from Ganon, "I can hold out for a little while!"

* * *

Soon the new Squires and the Lords of the Land arrived, Linkle called on Fi and after the bright light of the seven Lords of the Land blasted through Ganon's hide, leaving tears in his armor-like skin, Linkle wielded the Master Sword, two slashes that intersected across Ganon's forehead, ended with a stab that pierced his forehead, and unleashed the might of her compass, "Fall into the void! Light burns your soul! Nopeverse!"

Those gathered witnessed the maelstrom of light that absorbed Ganondorf, and as the light faded, they looked up to see that Ganondorf's domain had vanished.

"You did it, Linkle." Zelda breathed, smiling at the blue sky above them, "You've saved Hyrule, the world...I don't know what to say."

"Well," Linkle shrugged, "it's all in a day's work for the Shepherdess! I'm just surprised you're a Lord of the Land."

"Me too...I suppose we have this power not only to aid you, but to lead our respective lands." Zelda smiled, "Hopefully it'll help restore the castle."

Suddenly they head a surprised grunt from the stairs behind them, Fi translated for the green clad adventurer, his name was Link, and he wanted to be the Shepherd. They had a lot explain, but maybe he'd settle for being a Squire, he already had a fairy named Navi traveling with him.

 **MAN: Here this thing is, I basically fused the functions in ToZ (Shepherd, Armatize, Flames of Purification, domain, Malevolence) and gave it a Legend of Linkle overhaul, hope you had fun reading this, and I'll see you next update!**


	9. LoL:CGA Holiday Special

**Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures ?: Holiday Special**

 **It's The Great Pumpkin, Malron!**

Linkle knocked on the door to the ranch house and eagerly awaited Malron to answer it.

"Mal, Mal, the Great Pumpkin's going to rise soon!" Linkle cried.

"Wait, slow down a minute...who or what's the Great Pumpkin?"

"The Great Pumpkin! He rises from a select pumpkin patch, he's very choosy, I just heard about him last week, and I think you're going to win!"

"Win...win what?" Malron inquired, completely confused.

"Win the favor of the Great Pumpkin! You're awesome, and he's going to know that, and rise from the Kakariko Village pumpkin patch tonight!" Linkle held her arm, "And I was hoping you'd watch with me."

"Aw, well...sure, when are we going to watch for him?"

"Tonight, he should rise in about an hour!"

* * *

Malron sighed and jabbed at her Whisper Cube for the eighth time, "Linkle, it's been two hours...I think our snack supply's run out...and the clouds are starting to block the moonlit."

"B-but, he has to...he's the Great Pumpkin." Linkle sighed.

"Well, I'll come back with some more snacks, and we can continue our watch...you'd think Dad would be here with snacks, he likes bringing us stuff so much...though there _does_ seem to be a pattern, now that I think about it." Malron looked around and patted Linkle's head, "Did you hear that? Sounds like...something crawling out of the ground."

"I hear it...do you think-" Linkle smiled and stood up next to Malron.

"Let's go find out." Malron waved Linkle over and they began their search, when, suddenly, a large figure rose from the patch.

"Mal, look, it's the Great Pumpkin, he's rising, ha, ha, ha!" Linkle jumped up and down the Great Pumpkin yawned, and Linkle turned to squeeze Malron, "It's him, it's-"

Talron stepped into the moonlit and Linkle frowned, "Hey, girls, what's all the raucous?"

"Uh, we're just out here looking for the Great Pumpkin...hey, Linkle, you're sure it's not tomorrow?"Malron suggested, "Maybe you got excited and forgot which day we're dealing with?"

"No, I have today marked on my calendar with super excited, multicolored ink." Linkle sighed.

"I'm sure he's out there...maybe next year he'll rise in this patch, it's our first year for pumpkins, there's probably a large pumpkin field out there...maybe in the woods."

"Or in the sky." Linkle groaned, "Maybe I was wrong."

"This is the first I've heard of this Great Pumpkin business," Talron sighed, "but to me it sounds like one of those stories about the Great Fairy...she's supposed to rise from a magnificent fountain, but I haven't seen her yet, and I've seen plenty of fountains."

"Uh, Dad...her's is a specific fountain." Malron pointed out, "But then, you do have a bad habit not knowing what you're doing, and then suddenly appearing in weird places...like a ship you previously had no clue existed."

"It's these here 'mushrooms—they're magical!" Talron opened a bag and started chowing down on mushrooms, when Linebeck walked up behind him.

"Hey, folks, what's going on?" Linebeck inquired.

"Waiting on the Great Pumpkin." Malron sighed, "He hasn't showed up here, so maybe-"

"Ha, ha, ha, ha! Oh...ha, ha! Oh, me, that's...wow, that's funny," Linebeck wiped his eyes and caught his breath, "see, I made that up, too! I had a really strange dream, and figured, you know, it was probably whatever Talron's snacking down on these days, but it haunted me, so I wrote it down! I didn't actually think anyone would be so, uh, trusting. Anyways, I though it was-"

"Well?" Linkle watched Linebeck, who stood frozen until he spun around wildly, "What did you think it was?"

"Pretty obvious that nothing like the Great Pumpkin exists...but now I'm not so...sure?" Linebeck looked around some more, then kicked the bag out of Talron's hands, "Everybody listen! That...rustling sound, like something crawling."

"Who else is passed out around here?" Malron wondered.

"Wait...Linebeck, my grandma used to tell me about the Great Pumpkin, how old are you?" Linkle squinted at him and crossed her arms.

"Um, not that old, kid...but it does seem like...my grandpa told me about the same thing." Linebeck sighed.

"Well, mermaids are real." the Wayfarer added, sitting up near where Talron passed out.

"Dad, how many people have you been splitting these mushrooms with?!" Malron demanded. Before she got an answer, the ground below her cracked and shifted and she bumped into Linkle, then held on as the ground drifted away from them, and a large stalk rose up between them, along with one next to them, "We're on it, we're on the Great Pumpkin, Linkle!"

"I know, isn't it wonderful?!" Linkle shouted.

"I may have never told you, but I'm _scared_ of heights, really, really, _really_ scared of heights!" Malron screeched.

"Don't let go of me, then, everything will be okay!" Linkle promised, glancing down at the ground.

"Don't look down!" Malron yelled, gripping Linkle's shoulders, "Sheesh, where was this stalk before? Pumpkins are supposed to grow on the ground, right?!"

"Maybe it was a little pumpkin before it suddenly got larger?" Linkle suggested, "And I thought not looking down was something you did when you were scared, why should I not look down?"

"Because if you look down I'm going to look down to, and then I'll freak out and we'll both fall down!" Malron screamed.

"Just hold on and everything will be okay! Wow, the stars are co close!"

"I don't want to look up either, I'll lose my footing—ah!" suddenly the pumpkin stopped rising, and Malron pulled Linkle closer, "I know what happens next!"

"What happens next?" Linkle asked excitedly.

"When the bough breaks, the cradle will-" Malron shrieked as she found a pale demon cutting the stalk with a ridiculously large saw, "oh, hello to you, too! I'm sorry, but I heard the MC was on a pumpkin, so I had to cut it down, lickety-split, you know?"

"Who are you?!" Linkle shouted, pulling out a crossbow, "Hold me steady, Malron!"

"Are you crazy, you might shoot the stalk!" Malron cried.

"I never wanted to fight a demon in the sky, but it looks like I have no choice!" Linkle swung her left arm back to make her cape flutter, and pulled the trigger, hitting the demon in the head.

"Ah...that hurt...I guess. Oh, look at the split!" the demon pulled out a salt shaker and sprinkled its contents on the split in the stalk, then licked it, "Lickety-split, get it? Oh, wow, tastes like cucco!"

"He's crazy!" Malron screamed.

"I am Lord Ghirahim, fear my name in your last moments together! This ship's going down!" Ghirahim snapped his fingers and reached his arm around to grab the rapier that appeared behind him, then spun around, letting the end of his blade drag against the snapping stalk, "Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

Malron pulled Linkle close to her and squinted. After a few moments Malron looked around, "Did we crash yet? Where'd the stalk go...we're flying up higher, aren't we?"

I think so," Linkle turned around and saw a white figure fading, "or maybe he fell."

"What? Is this the power of the Great Pumpkin?" Malron looked around and crossed her arms, "You know, I'm actually not sure why I was so scared of heights, it's actually kind of nice around here! Whoa, I take back!"

"Eh?!" Linkle found herself suddenly crushed to Malron again as they descended. Suddenly they heard a yell, and looked over the side to find Ghirahim under the gourd.

"Ah, get me out from under this...my arms, my beautiful arms...actually, my everything...I feel like a pancake." Ghirahim groaned, "Pancakes, I'll never think of you the same way ever again!"

"Now, Ghirahim, begone from here!" a voice boomed.

"So...the Great Pumpkin is protecting Hyrule, then?" Malron wondered, as Ghirahim vanished.

"I guess so...that was so awesome!" Linkle cheered.

"Yeah, it was. Where'd Dad and Linebeck go, though?" Malron pinched her nose, "Uh, Great Pumpkin, is anyone else under you?"

"No, it would seem your father and his friends have gone home." the Great Pumpkin boomed, "They are safe...also, I must commend you on your pumpkin patch, it has been centuries since I've seen one so well tended, I will have to come back next year...just...try to grow a circle of grass so you know where I'll be next time...and before you ask, no, I'm not the pumpkin, but the spirit controlling the pumpkin...remember, even the most unlikely pumpkin can become worthy of the title of the Great Pumpkin...that said, don't let this pumpkin rot, it deserves a better fate than that."

"O-okay...guess we'll have a pie or something." Malron decided.

"Hmm, I'll help!" Linkle offered, "Let's get started right away!"

"How are we going to move this pumpkin, though?" Linkle wondered, "It could fill the whole front room!"

"It _is_ a big pumpkin."

"Maybe we could move it through the power of-" Linkle jumped back as the pumpkin exploded, and stared as Talron dusted off, Linebeck and the Wayfarer were with him, "You too, Linebeck?! The Great Pumpkin spirit wanted us to use that in something...like a pie!"

"A pie?!" Talron exclaimed, and suddenly the trio were rewound to before they exploded the pumpkin, and they could hear a shout of, "On three, men! One, two, three!" and the pumpkin was rolled away.

"Malron, what just happened?"

"I...I don't know...could we both be having the same fever induced dream?"

"I know, right? That was...strange."

"Well, at least I might have help this time."

"Ha, ha, make them do all the baking!"

"Yeah, we've got target practice and stuff!"

 **Mini Author's Notes: Yeah...Ghirahim's connection to that world was weak or some random excuse here...Ghirahim was here because I wanted a "G" rating..."G" for Ghirahim!**

 **Malfunction Mark II**

Linkle thought it was a dream for a moment, she always wanted to ice skate on Lake Hylia when it was winter, so now that Malron and her finally set out, it was like a dream, especially since Talron hadn't jumped out of nowhere. It was too good to be true.

"Malron?" Linkle sighed. She was going to say it, she just had to say them over and over in her head for minute.

"Yes, Linkle?" Malron's words always had a way of warming her up, especially when they were holding hands—which was actually necessary for the ice skating dancing thing they were doing—so she was really warm now.

" _Oh no, what if my hands are sweaty! Wait, they might not be, but if I panic, they will be! Must...remain-"_

"Linkle?"

"Calm! Huh?"

"Huh? I was going to ask...you seem pretty uncomfortable."

"What? No, I...um...I alright." Linkle stuttered.

"You sure?"

"Yeah...I'm fine...but you're finer."

"Ha, thanks, Linkle, but if the game's flattery-"

"No game...Malron...u-um I love you." Linkle stared up pleadingly at Malron in a way that made her think of Epona's telepathic request for apples, or a puppy that wanted more food even though it had some right in front of it.

"You...you love me?" Malron asked, surprised. Linkle was sure it was that kind of dream where Talron doesn't mess everything up, but she couldn't be sure.

"Uh-huh! I really love you, and I...what do you think about me? Could you ever fall in love with a cucco shepherdess with delusions of grandeur?"

"You love me?"

"Y-yes...Malron, I-"

"D-does not compute," Malron's head tilted to the shoulder repeatedly and smoke poured out of her ears, "does not compute, does not—love...function unavailable, hardware crash, activating safe mode, sub setting fetal position initiated. Standby for diagnostics. Requires repairs, automatic repair function activating."

"M-Malron!" Linkle cried.

"Malfunction, malfunction."

* * *

Linkle jumped upright and found that she was back in her room, suddenly the door fell in and Aryll ran to her side, "It's okay, Big Sis! Little Sis is here!"

"I...I'm okay-"

"Nonsense, my little sister senses were tingling!" Aryll objected, pulling out tea and a storybook.

"Uh, I appreciate it-" Linkle began, when Malron fell out of the ceiling.

"Don't worry, Linkle," Malron began, "I've got-"

"Wait, please tell me you're not a robot?!" Linkle shouted.

"Robot? I don't know what a robot is, but that's some kind of nightmare you must have been having." Malron remarked.

"Wait a second-" Aryll turned to Malron, then back to Linkle, "Oh...well, I kind of ship-"

"Hey, Linkle!" Talron shouted, mere moments before crashing through a wall, "Hey, Linkle, the world's on fire, time to go save the day!"

"Huh?" Aryll shrugged, "Anyways, Malron ex Linkle is my OT-"

"Oh, Linkle, save the world from catastrophe!" Talron shouted, running through a different wall this time.

"Will you please let me support my sister's canon rel-"

"Repairs! The world is falling apart and needs repairs!" Talron cried.

"Linron for the-"

"The moon is falling, hurry, smite it back into orbit before we all suffer a terrible-"

* * *

Linkle bolted upright and took a few shallow breathes, "That was incredibly meta!"

"Tell me about it." Malron yawned, rolling over to smile at Linkle, "I wish this dream would never end."

"U-uh, me too, but isn't this kind of _my_ dream?"

"Maybe we're sharing the same dream?" Malron smirked.

 **Mini Author's Notes: :-}**

 **Party Loud Enough To Wake The ReDead.**

Linkle looked up and down the busy streets of Castle Town, everyone wore a mask, along with a matching costume. She took a moment to appreciate the amount of effort spent in preparation for the event, then went off on her search for Malron.

"I see you're all dressed up!" Linkle smirked flopping one of Malron's ears.

"And you...bunny ears?" Malron shook her head, "At least people won't ask about me, they'll probably think it's a theme or something."

"Yeah...I tried to find some purple bunny ears, but they were all out, some guy named Ravio bought up the whole stock." Linkle shrugged, "I think this works though...if only your transformation gave you three tails, you could go as a Keaton!"

"Uh...Keaton stuff's kind of for kids anyways, though, right?" Malron scratched an ear and sighed.

"You could probably get away with it, people still say 'kid' to you, right?" Linkle shrugged, "But I still wasn't expecting the ears."

"Allergies...convenient...unexpectedly enough." Malron pressed her nose against her shoulder and groaned, "Anyways, may as well try to enjoy the party, huh? I wonder where the princess is?"

* * *

The pair found a strangely costumed person named Sheik in the grand hall of Hyrule Castle, dancing with no particular style, and sampling all the treats on the table, obviously not Zelda. Suddenly a cacophony of moans and otherworldly screeches scratched the air.

"I heard the expression of waking the dead, but...this is just mad!" Malron shook her head, "Guess we should fight this!"

"Hang on, look at that." Linkle pointed at Sheik, who had begun dancing again, the ReDeads followed the cosplayer of the shadow tribe's steps, and paraded out into the fields, Linkle and Malron followed and watched as Sheik danced and attacked the monsters, blending the two in a way that proved fatal to the monsters.

Sheik dropped her disguise and as the light faded, only Zelda remained, "My nightmare was right, then."

"Hey, Zel!" Linkle waved and the startled princess turned around, "Whoa, so that was you?"

"Y-yes, but...don't say anything about it, it's a secret to everybody." Zelda blushed as she spoke and turned away, then a blue haired witch crash landed nearby.

"Hey, Linkle, guess who I'm dressed as?" Maple chortled, betting that Linkle could never guess.

"Um, Irene, world famous witch of legend?" Linkle answered.

"W-what, how?!"

"Oh, you know," Linkle giggled, "She was always your favorite character in 'Keaton's Great Adventures!'"

"Great, now I owe Syrup twenty Rupees!" Maple slammed her fist into her hand and took off again.

"You read it too?" Zelda inquired, blushing and smiling, making sure no one else was within earshot, "I really liked issue nine, it was a holiday special and Keaton and the sidekick pony were on the Great Pumpkin, it was so magical."

"T-too meta for me!" Linkle shouted, waving her hands.

'What's wrong?" Zelda inquired, "Did something like this happen?"

"Tell me, when did issue nine get released?" Linkle said pointedly.

"On the day of the Festival of Time, earlier today. I'm at the part where Irene shows up and Keaton...oh, let me just show you, I have it here!"

"No, don't!" Linkle shouted, but it was too late. It was then revealed that the story was not a story, but a parallel universe that recorded the future of that particular day's week, and all the answers were spoiled.

And then some kid named Link hit the reset button on reality.

 **MANs: So many self-aware stories!**

 **Tricks Are Treats**

Malron waited by the door in her pirate costume, when she heard a knock at the door, "Jump scare y-ah!"

"Boo!" Linkle yelled, in a red hood.

"Little Red Riding Hood does _not_ yell 'boo!'" Malron shouted.

"She can yell what she wants!" suddenly Linkle grinned, "Why, Red Beard, what a beardless chin you have!"

"All the better to...uh...um, tap my chin with?" Malron shrugged.

"And those crystal blue eyes," Linkle stood on her toes and stared at Malron, her whole face adopted her hair color, "are enough to make the sky green with envy...and your beautiful skin puts Ghirahim to shame."

"Y-you're supposed to just say 'trick or treat', dummy." Malron muttered.

"Trick or treat," Linkle grinned, "dummy."

 **MAN: Bet you didn't see this coming! Um, I mean the update itself, not this particular one, but that too. Anyway, yeah, fun times...too bad I killed the surprise for the rest of the holidays...or did I? There, now it's a secret again...except maybe not...or is it? *Waves arms around mysteriously* It's a secret to everybody!**


	10. Legend of Linkle: CGA 10

**Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures 10**

 ** **The Scourge of King Crustalfos; Alternate Title: A Mildly Accurate Perspective of Aryll and Rutilah's Crab Fight From Linkle's Great Adventure: Toxic Dip; Alt Alt Title: In Which Linkle, Aryll, and Rutilah are Magical Girls****

In the Zora's Temple, the room with the empty pool, Linkle just started work on hacking a treasure box when the gate to the room she was in suddenly shut and water began to fill it, on top of that, a giant fiddler crab ambushed them.

Aryll was wearing a light blue uniform fit for a sailor, decorated with patterns of hibiscus flowers, on her head was a white sailor's cap speckled with purple skulls over unspecified long crossed bones.

Rutilah floated just off the ground in a mermaid swimsuit, using her mastery over water to keep her from awkwardly jumping in the long tail to her destination.

Ancient Zoran script appeared on the wall above the sea monster's head, with a modern Hylian translation under that, "It's the monster that was chasing me!" Rutilah shouted, as the deadly creature scuttled into the room very casually, "King Crustalfos; Overlord of the Trench of Despair!"

"I'll support you from up here!" Aryll cried from the platform high above the empty pool. It was already high enough to get hurt if she fell into a pool filled with water, and getting down quickly would lose her tactical position, she would only be able to try to distract the menace anyways, Rutilah was safer with her up on the platform, where she could attack from a distant, aiming her sword as she stabbed forward, letting lose jabs of wind that hurt the crab's eye stalks as she cried out, "Sword Gale!"

They kept the giant monster at bay for a while, but made no major progress, and Rutilah's energy was running out quickly. Suddenly a shadow fell over the princess and King Crustalfos, and Linkle's voice cried out, "In the name of the compass around my neck and my friends by my side," as Linkle—wearing a red version of her usual outfit—spoke, Rutilah and Aryll floated beside her on their respective elements while the girl with the extraordinarily oversized hammer stood on a pillar of fire, perfectly balanced despite her one-legged stand pose, as if to spite gravity, "I declare crab season officially... _open!"_ suddenly fire erupted from Drake's Bane and covered Linkle like an aura.

"I'm Rutilah, Priestess of the Deep!" The Zora shouted, her water rising up to bind the crab's claws and legs.

Aryll drew back her sword and held out her palm, preparing to send a gust of air that would for the crab to keep it's eyes to itself, "And I'm Aryll, Kid Captain, Mistress of the Sea, sailor girl extraordinaire!"

"And I'm Linkle, the Burning Heart, Heroine of the Gorons, Zoras, Hylians, and any other unspecified race that may or may not exist in this world!" Linkle took a deep breath after her introduction and the blaze around her grew brighter, "Drake's Rage...Eeeeeeeeeeexxploooossssiiooon!"

She spun towards the crustacean, moving faster and faster until the head of her hammer struck the shelled creature right between the eyes.

When the steam from the surrounding water was guided away by Aryll's wind, the trio found several helpings of crab legs and decided to have a picnic, "And here I thought krakens were the only sea monsters!" Aryll joked, pulling a long piece of crab meat from the shell.

"Yeah, we're lucky it wasn't a kraken, or it probably would've tossed that bridge at us, or pull down those iron weights." Rutilah remarked, raising an eyebrow as the sisters stared at her, "What, I'm serious! Those things are more dexterous than they look."

"I want to make a joke..." Linkle sighed, snapping a shelled leg, "but the crab's too hot..."

"Huh?" Aryll knitted her brows at the heroine's remark, "Well, let's hear it anyways."

"Alright! Ahem, I'm _kraken_ a cold one with the girls!" Linkle beamed as she shared the pun, cracking a crab leg as she spoke. Her excited, expectant gaze soon drifted to her plate, "Anyways...we should probably...stop talking and just eat."

"Yeah...it's weird, though..." Rutilah sighed, "I have this strange feeling that we should be eating...something sweet...I know the crab meat's sweet, but I mean like...pastries or something."

"Now that you mention it..." Linkle hummed, trying to put a finger on the feeling that she too had.

"Nah!" the trio decided it was nothing and continued eating.

Meanwhile...elsewhere, beyond a dark path above them and into a room filled with starry light, was a fairy wearing a "Please Don't Kiss the Cook 3" apron over her blue dress, preparing cheese danishes, eclairs, and cheesecake.

 ** **MANs: I dunno, maybe the fairies in this universe are just more shy that the ones we're used to. Unspecific hero(in)es must be pretty jealous that**** _ ** **they****_ ** **don't get fairies who aren't cackling maniacs who like to harass adventurers.****

* * *

 ** **Maple De Spare****

Maple sighed softly as she stared out the window, it was just any other day, except nothing bad was happening. Linkle and Malron passed the shop where Maple and Syrup worked and the young witch sighed again.

Rutilah and Aryll passed by, laughing about something as they walked _very_ closely together, like there was some unspoken agreement that they were now a thing but were still too shy to really spit it out. Again, she sighed.

"And she huffed and puffed and blew old Syrup's shop down." The older witch remarked, carrying two teacups, sipping on one while setting the other on the window in front of Maple, "Y'know, people will avoid the shop if they see some creepy face watching from the windows."

"Thanks, but I'm not thirsty..." Maple muttered carefully holding her fingers like a crane and setting the tea on the other end of the windowsill.

"'Thanks' what? I didn't get that tea for you! I just filled the tea basket and had to add enough water that the tea wasn't too strong, and I don't want to waste any. The only reason I made tea at all is because all your wistful sighing is giving me a headache..." Syrup explained, avoiding eye contact as she spoke, instead she just stared out the window. She suddenly chuckled and took a sip of tea, "Now there's two creepy faces in the window. If you wanna go outside I'll let you, but you're darkening the mood in this shop and making it hard to work, so go outside or...spill your guts to me, if you think sharing your problems will make you feel better—I mean, sometimes that works..."

"I'm a spare." Maple sighed, deciding she'd take that tea now, since Syrup was perceptive enough to suggest exactly what the younger witch needed.

"Excuse me, child? Like a spare part...is there another Maple running around that I don't know about? A Maple who might need to be replaced at any moment and you're just waiting to spring into action? Given the way it sounds, maybe you shouldn't hope the other Maple needs replacing..."

"Uuuh, no...I mean like...there's no one in my story arc for me to connect with on a really deep emotional level, Linkle and Malron are together, Aryll's managed to make a Zora _princess_ fall for her, and I...I'm all alone."

Syrup let out a deep breath and laid a hand on Maple's shoulder, took a long, slow sip of her tea. So Maple wanted to be shipped? This wasn't anything she expected, it didn't seem like a problem she could fix or spell the hex out of, but she wasn't going to lose to some longing for love that had her apprentice sighing at a window, "I'm here."

"Yeah...you're right. Thanks, Mom, good talk." Maple smiled and gave Syrup a brief hug before bouncing back to the mortar and pestle she was supposed to be using to grind together ingredients.

"Mom...?" Syrup echoed, she thought it was always one-sided, but apparently Maple felt the same way. It made the old witch happy, especially since she wasn't getting called "granny" or something, still, a thought nagged at the back of her head, _"I can't believe it...just like that? I swear kids are bizarre creatures...! I can't believe she's over it so easily...I don't believe she's over it! All her friends are getting shipped and she feels left out. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.."_

Syrup had a plot brewing in her head, a dangerous scheme that could backfire horribly on her, but she wasn't going to stand by and watch Maple sigh at the windowpane anymore!

 ** **MAN: Syrup wishes it was just a typical life-or-death matter, she could hex a present problem dead, but this is an absence problem.****

* * *

 ** **The Fourth Sailor****

"It's too strong, even for all of us to take on!" Linkle cried, blasting away on a burst of flame.

"We need to recruit another magical girl...but who?" Aryll wondered, as the trio floated away from the giant kraken and back to Hyrule.

"I don't know, but if we don't defeat the kraken within a week, it'll flood all of Hyrule!" Rutilah informed, "I hope you two know someone."

"I know a few people, Malron...um, I'd like to not drag her into this, if I don't have to...Linebeck...nah, even if he was a girl, he'd be too skittish...Ohirume and Tsuki...no, they might actually both be guys...oh, hey, Zelda's a girl!" Linkle cried, then suddenly remembered something, "Wait, no, she's not ding so hot, it'd be wrong to make her fight...we need another magical girl...we're going to need to advertise."

"What about Joanna?" Aryll inquired, referring to someone they had never mt.

"Who?" Linkle asked, and when Aryll began to speak again she shook her head, "No...who? We don't know, do we? Don't talk about people we haven't met with, even if there happens to be a certain individual in the world who may or may not be into mermaids and may or may not dress as one and may or may not have any relevance to the plot, we can't just _say_ her name and pretend we've met her, it's like if I said, 'Oh, hey, _bleep_ is cool, let's invite _bleep_ to fight with us!'"

"Well, _bleep_ is kinda cool..." Aryll shrugged, "I mean, she's okay considering _bleep_ but I think we need some more on-screen time before adding her to the roster."

"Guys...let's not talk about this." Rutilah whispered, glancing around suspiciously, "You don't know... _they_ might be watching, they're probably wondering _right_ now if we're talking about a new character who's awesome or just pretending we're talking about an awesome character when there really won't be any new characters! They might even think we're talking about an existing character who's cooperation is a spoiler!"

"Why can't we just be talking about a girl named Bleep?" Linkle wondered, shaking her head, "Let's just stop talking about Bleep, before someone gets the wrong...or right idea."

"You two are leaning _all_ over that wall..." Aryll groaned, gasping as her eyes fell on Kakariko Village below, "Monsters!"

"Looks like we have to fall into action _again,_ does anyone have a magic potion?" Linkle wondered, swiftly diving down after her sister and the Zora. When they landed, they found monsters flying _backwards_ all over the place, Syrup as sipping tea in the middle of the chaos while Maple was terrorizing the poor monsters, growling at them as they hid under tables, "Uuuuh, on second thought, let's leave this to the...witch. Guy I just realized something, she's a witch!"

"So?" Rutilah and Aryll blurted together.

"Sooo...witches are _magical_ girls!" Linkle exclaimed.

"As opposed to wizards or non-magical—oh, I get it!" Aryll laughed softly and waved her hand as Linkle waved her hands, staring as though that would make Aryll understand any faster, "You know, that witch hat and robe would be a good magical girl costume!"

"No!" Linkle and Rutilah decided, crossing their arms.

"What...but...she...witches, though!" Aryll tossed up her hands, "Fine, you guys pick out something!"

"So...lemme get this straight...I can blast monsters to oblivion with you guys as long as I don't wear a tradition witch outfit?" Maple found this more mentally strenuous than fighting monsters, she didn't know what principle these girls were working off of, but just one look into their eyes told her they were all pretty high leveled and knew what they were talking about, "Kay, seems legit—anything, right? I don't need some kinda theme or something?"

"Nope, Casual Friday, Saturday Morning Pajamas, Sunday Sermon, Apocalyptic Monday Armor, Fishing Trip...anything goes." Linkle offered, holding out her hands as though to say anything could go.

Later that night, the trio finished preparations and flew back into battle, the trio prepared to attack the kraken again, it seemed very amused, leaning its head back as though it were laughing. They fought long and hard with the new addition of their party, until finally it was time to unleash the final attack.

"Hey, new girl, you can do the honors whenever you'd like!" Aryll called out, waving at Maple as she dodged large boulders.

"You guys really expect me to unleash the final strike with just three hours of sleep? How do you girls do it...?" Maple asked, still in her black and white nightgown. Half her gown was inverted from the other, so the left shoulder, torso, and waist were—from top to bottom—colored black, white, black while the right was white, black, white. There were chess pieces scattered across the gown, inverted from the color of their background, whenever one crossed into another, then the part in black would be white, the side in white would be black. A vivid pink bow sat on the shoulders and chest of the gown, "Fine...lemme think of a cool line..."

"Maple!" Aryll cried out, snapping her fingers as Maple lowered her head.

"Yeah, yeah...umm, I got one." Maple yawned, triggered a chorus of yawns from the original trio, "Mate, malicious mollusk! Or...wait, does this sound better: 'Checkmate crooked cephalopod!'"

"Is that the only problem here?!" Linkle screamed, blasting a bolt of fire at the giant tentacle swiping towards her, "Just pick one and go!"

"Fiiine." Maple held her hands up and leaned back, almost fell off her broom, "Forfeit, fried fish!" Suddenly a giant queen made of shadow appeared and lowered onto the kraken, pushing it deeper under water until it was grinding the creature. The sea boiled the shadow sunk deeper into the ocean, apparently carrying fire within the form of the chess piece. When the chess piece had sunk completely and eventually dissipated, four bowls of soup rose from the boiling depths. The witch regarded the bowls suspiciously and turned to the others, "Since when have bosses dropped meals?"

"I dunno, I think it's a recent development." Linkle tapped her chin thoughtfully, "But I _have_ been out of the loop for a little while."

"It's probably gonna be chewy..." Rutilah rubbed her eyes tiredly, "I think I'll pass this time, I don't wanna eat anything, just sleep for the next hundred years..."

"Haah, that sounds like a plan!" Aryll agreed, turning away to head back to Kakariko Village.

"Guess I'm too tired for a midnight snack anyways." Linkle shrugged, watching the four bowls bobbing on the Great Sea, "Seems like a shame, though."

"I'd rather have crab...why couldn't we have fought a giant crab? I could kill for a plate of crabs...I mean, I could kill a giant crab, of course!" Maple quickly corrected herself, watched Linkle fly away, chuckling at Maple's monologue, "Uuugh, I need to sleep anyways...but I'm not tired now! Sheesh, those three must be used to this...oh well, more for me!"

 ** **MANs: She just had to show out, look how many things she words she can start with the same letter to spell doom for monsters,**** _ ** **look at it!****_ ** **The irony of beating down King Crustalfos just before taking on a new teammate isn't lost on Linkle...****

* * *

 ** **King Fails****

"So...they had raisin oatmeal cookies," Rutilah took a deep breath as she glared at her father, "so you just promised them the Zora's Sapphire?"

"I regret nothing!" The king mumbled with a mouthful of cookies.

"You know...this sounds an awful lot like an arranged marriage. I hope you realize how ironic that is, considering how you hate them nearly as much as the Hylians." Rutilah let out a deep breath and pointed at her father's cellphone, "Call them, tell them they can't have it!"

"Why not?" The king asked, after gulping down a giant glass of milk.

"Because I said so! Sheesh, and you were such a strict traditionalist when it suits you...anyway, I've given it to someone else, a dashing captain who-"

"Oh, they know...I told them where she was heading, too, so they should be on the way to intercept it from her right now." Her father replied, waving his hand in an offhanded manner. A Zora guard ran into the room, panting as he tried to catch his breath after the long swim back.

"King Dad, the Gerudo who were going to reclaim the Zora's Sapphire have been shipped off to Gerudo on a fleet of boats made out of water! Even with all their firepower and excellent ambush, they were no match for her!" The guard reported, taking a deep breath as he finished.

"Mm, as expected, of course!" King Zora XXV proclaimed, surprising both the princess and the guard, "What's with the surprise? Who do you think I am, some sort of slimy fish that would marry off my daughter to Ganondorf? Aaaanyways, I'm gonna get back to my cookies now. Here, take one!"

Rutilah sniffed suspiciously at the cookie her father handed her and dropped it on the floor, "I wouldn't feed this to my fish...smells like betrayal and regret. I'm going to go find Aryll...as long as no forest fires get in my way." Rutilah added reluctantly as she passed a few guards, including the one who reported to her father.

"What an oddly specific obstacle she mentioned." One muttered to the others, "I guess fire is a big threat to we Zoras, but it still makes me wonder...why a forest?"

"Who knows, maybe she's headed to a forest?" Another inquired.

The previous speaker and currently silent guard just waved off the suggestion, "Nah!"

 ** **MANs: The Gerudo Girl Scouts have other flavors, but they only had one box of the oatmeal raisin ones...the king just thought that they were rare and in high demand, but they don't make that many because they're sure that flavor won't sell—if the Gerudo don't like it, why would a Hylian?****

* * *

 ** **Pre-Story Post****

"Waaaaait, Looooordd Ganondorf Dragmiiiiire!" Ganondorf pulled back the reins on his horse and turned around. He was still in the Lost Woods and his source said that today was the day a milk delivery was being made, the plan was to jump onto the carriage and sneak into Castle Town, but the voice far in the distance belonged to Aveil, an important mailwoman who probably had a message from the prince he had been conspiring with.

"I'm waiting!" Ganondorf called back, after a moment he added, "And don't use that last name, it makes me feel old!"

"Mail, Lord Ganondorf!" Aveil bowed and held up her hands, an envelope in her palms.

"Must be important if you ran all the way here...my Mommi—uh, the witches who raised me have sent a letter. Ahem, leave me, Aveil!" Ganondorf ordered, blushing so brightly it showed through his armor.

Aveil managed not to snicker until she was out of earshot, "Heh, 'Mommies!' I could roll on the floor laughing." She held her sides as she turned her face to the sky and laughed until she fell to her knees, and she did indeed roll on the floor, laughing until she cried.

" _Dear Son,_

" _We know you're very busy being an evil overlord or what have you, and we have every faith that you and your friend Prince Daphnes Nohansen II will progress the plot spectacularly, but we're worried that you may forget to clean behind your ears, stretch your legs between occupying the throne and cackling evil-y to yourself while seated—you don't know how poorly cushioned those Hylian thrones are! And while on that topic, the beds! Oh, the beds are so terrible, you're better off sleeping on the floor, the carpet's softer! Oh, yes, so much softer! The pillows! They're not bad either. Oh, blankets! Blankets are okay, but you might as well dress like an Anouki! What's Anouki? I don't know, why'd you write it?_

" _I didn't!_

" _Yes, you did! No, I already said it wasn't_

" _Hang on, ran out of space on that side. I already said it wasn't me! You brought it up!_

" _I'm so sorry, Son, but your other mother has gone_ senile _beyond belief!_

" _Who are you calling senile?_

" _Well at least I'm beautiful! Oh, hey, I just realized something. What? We'll run out of space like this. Oh, we will, we will. Anyway, Ganny, it's time to conclude this letter, but know that we love you. Way more than you love me—the witch beside me, not you, Ganny-boo! Hey, don't make this about us! You started it. I can't believe it...my own blood hates me... Heeeey, I never said I hated you, just that you were a senile old fool. Can we try that again? Closing the letter, or do you just want to make me feel worse? Closing the letter...goodbye, Ganny, we love you! Take care and remember to wash behind your ears, we love you! I already told him that. So, I wanted to say it too. You'll spoil him like that. Fine, let's trace over the same words_

" _ **WE LOVE YOU GANNY-BOO!** Stop trying to out do me, you'll wear through the paper! It's parchment, and no, I won't! No, it's not parchment, it's paper, and yes, you will. I said stop tracing the words, it's dark enough! Fine, let's just close this letter and send it before it's too late! Agreed! For once..._

" _ **Love your mothers,** or else 3_

" _My name should be first, I'm oldest! No, I am! Fine, youngest should go first! Let's not use our names then! Fine by me! Let's do over!_

" ** _Love your mothers, hate your enemies_**

" _ **Twinrova.** "_

Ganondorf sighed wistfully as he clutched the letter to his chest plate, "It's almost like being there!" Though he hid it well, one of his most trusted minions eagerly watched from the shadows, snickering to herself as she saw the way the gauntlets folded over the heart of the Gerudo warrior.

"It seems even Ganondorf can become nostalgic..." Aveil observed as Ganondorf rode out of the woods and into Kakariko Village. It was true what they say about knowledge, you really can learn something new every day.

 ** **Mini Author's Notes: Even Ganny-boo has a heart, as rotten through as it is.****

* * *

 ** **Aveil Plays a Game****

She was doing pretty good, too, she found a bandit hideout and defeated all of them, then opened the treasure chest that had a really beautiful spear in it, "Why on earth did that bandit have _this_ gem in a box? Was she just stupid? Oh, wow...the stats are even better...I should enchant this!"

And so she did, she learned an enchantment to leech the life force off her enemies while freezing them, a weapon of that caliber deserved a high caliber name, alas, she didn't have one. She spent several minutes thinking it over, even researched spear names, but nothing struck her with awe, so she just started selecting letters, "Spear...of Stabbity-Stab? Why not; can't spend too long on a name."

She was just glad that none of her friends would see it, the name worked in a pinch but she'd be too embarrassed to show it off, fortunately no one could see it and laugh at her.

* * *

Later that evening Aveil's little sister's friends came over for a sleepover, naturally they wanted to play a video game, and the one Aveil was playing earlier was still in the console, and Aveil's sister didn't want to start a new file, she just see the action and wasn't really confident in her skills—she jumped in her seat whenever an NPC started talking to without her activating it the first time she played on Aveil's file, so she usually made Aveil play it anyway, and this time would be no different.

Aveil ran her avatar across a wide opened field, specifically avoiding combat in the presence of children under the age of fifteen. The girls quickly grew bored of it and demanded that she go kill something, so she went to a field where wolves spawned and impaled several of them with her spear, wincing with every thrust, turning to see if she should stop killing things for the sake young eyes, instead she found them enthralled with her skills.

"Hey, how did you make them freeze just then, you're not even casting magic!" Aveil's sister cried, "Was that weapon from a quest?"

"Haha, kinda," Aveil proudly opened her inventory as she explained, "there was a quest to kill a bandit camp and this weapon was in the treasure chest, I enchanted it and named it!" She crowed, pointing out the specific enchantments she used, "Frostbite slows enemies, lowers their attack frequency, deals ice damage, is super effective against fire elementals, and adds to the damage of a regular stab with whatever my Frostbite spell's base damage is, which is good cuz I leveled that one like crazy! The other enchantment is for Health Leech and...what's so funny? Can't believe I'm _soo_ nerdy?"

"N-No, it's your spear's name!" One of the girls snickered, covering her mouth to muffle her laughs while a friend beside her took a picture with her phone and uploaded it to social media, where all her friends and her sister's friends—most of who were Aveil's friends—would see it.

"W-What, my...oh." Aveil's eyes widened, the controller slipped from her grasp, the game left the pause menu and her avatar was maimed by the last wolf standing, a wolf that only barely survived.

* * *

Within a few hours her friends were teasing her about her fierce weapon. She expected that part, but what pleasantly surprised her as she scrolled through the posts were pictures of friend's weapons.

A stranger posted a picture of a majestic sword with a purple hilt and shiny blade simply named "Master Sword", another that looked like it, but named "Fi", and then one with a blue hilt and long blade called "Biggoron's Sword." Seeing all the "Butter Knife of Justice" and "Similar Scimitars" in the world made her feel less silly, especially considering the Butter Knife of Justice was an actual piece of cutlery that you could attack with for some reason—it even had a fork counterpart, "Trident of Darkness", a fork with three tines instead of four.

Even her rival—who she had a rocky relationship with—got in on the fun, posted a picture of her ninja avatar with a bow called "Dad's Bow", then another which copied her own weapon down to the enchantments, though it also added her name, "Aveil's Spear of Stabbity-Stab."

It was an overnight sensation, and while it faded just as fast from the internet's consciousness, her friends would often take a playful jab at her for it, and she'd bring up their own names. In the end, the silly name that embarrassed her created a fun time of sharing silly weapon names, all thanks to one of her friend's sister who decided it'd be fun to show it off.

 ** **MANs: It may have been fun, but Aveil's still gonna be more careful about what she names her weapons, or just start a new file when her sister brings her friends and wants to watch her fight.****


	11. LoL:CGA 11

**Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures 11**

 **Rutilah's Wardrobe**

Doesn't exist, so she visited Zelda instead.

"Umm, you okay?" Zelda inquired, tilting her head like a curious cat as she watched Rutilah glare holes into the line of clothes in the unexpectedly varied wardrobe of the Hylian princess's rather deep closet, the enclosed structure was something the Zora had never encountered the likes of before. More than just pink or cerulean dresses, there were also nightgowns, sweaters, tank tops, shorts, and folded blue material with a red eye on a white cloth sitting on the wooden shelf, which was full of make up and hair accessories on the eye level shelves.

"There's just...so much. So many clothes...I don't know what I'm going to do!" Rutilah trembled ever so slightly and Zelda patted her shoulder, "Zelda...please help me?"

"What do you need help with? Why are these clothes alarming you so much?" Zelda wondered, unaware of the Zora's situation, "It's not like you need clothes, right?"

"Right...I actually do need clothes." Rutilah let out a long sigh as she stared at the ceiling, "See, I'm...hoping to impress someone...who's _not_ a Zora. We know each other and we're friends, but..."

"Ooooh...well, I'd think it's more about what you say than what you wear, but I'm sure your efforts will be appreciated...that said, asking this non-Zora to lunch might be a start, test the waters, as it were."

"So...dress, right, which dress?"

"Maybe you start with a simple shirt and go from there? I'm not sure I'd dress up to go out for, say, a sandwich in the the middle of the day. You're welcome to anything on the hangers..." Zelda was surprised when Rutilah closed the door behind her, but shrugged and waited for the Zora to find something. A few minutes later, while Rutilah was fretting in front of the mirror on the inside of the closet door, Linkle came over.

The heroine was shown in by Maple, a Sheikah bodyguard working as the court mage and Zelda's personal physician and health adviser, "Hey, Zelda, are we still on to 'Unspecified Heroes II: Hijacked by Ganon' later tonight?"

"Wait, you came all this way just to ask that?" Zelda blurted, surprised the adventure seeking girl was willing to go all the way to Hyrule Castle for that.

"Weeeeell...the connection was bad, so...yeah." Linkle shrugged as Zelda's concerned and shocked gaze intensified, "It was just a hop, skip, and Gale Wake from my home."

"Eeeeh, that's Farore's Wind, right?" Zelda corrected, tilting her head as she tried to remember if she was wrong.

"I haven't even upgraded Gale Wake into Goddess Breeze yet, I'm a way off from turning that into Farore's Wind, but since you're a Princess you naturally start off with the three most powerful skills...but sometimes that's overkill anyway."

"Riiight, how silly of me to have forgotten that..." Zelda chuckled nervously and mentally kicked her shin her playing the tutorial so late at night. Sick and restless, she had nothing better to do, and while she didn't skim over anything, it seemed she didn't retain anything either.

"I wonder if Rutilah's gonna play, too, didn't you say you were gonna ask about that?"

"Oh, yeah...she's currently in the closet preparing for a lunch that might lead to dinner that _might_ be a date." Zelda glanced at the door worriedly, when she heard footsteps outside her room, Ronran and Aryll entered the room, Ronran chatting with her apprentice while Aryll led the way.

"Hey, Linkle, we agreed to have lunch at Unspecific Cafe, ri-" Aryll jumped when she heard a surprised cry and something tumbling, it sounded like it was in the closet, "Zelda, I do believe there's a monster in your closet!"

"No, that's just Rutilah." Zelda sighed, "Rutilah, are you okay in there?"

"Yes!" Rutilah screamed, "I'm fine! Everything's fine!"

"Hey, Rutilah, you should come and have lunch with us!" Aryll announced enthusiastically, turning to Linkle, "If that's alright?"

"Yup!" Linkle agreed, watching her sister excitedly turn to the door.

"Linkle said it was fine, I'm sure they'll have something you'll like!" Aryll cried.

"U-Uh, sure...I just need a moment!" Rutilah called back, starting to panic as Aryll basically invited her to lunch, like she had wanted to do, now it felt like it'd be ten times harder to touch on feelings, specifically hers, since she was going to be Aryll's guest, "I don't know...what looks good on me..."

"I'm sure whatever you're wearing is fine—wait, why do you suddenly need clothes?!" Aryll shouted as she realized Zora's don't usually wear clothes.

"Umm...just...trying something..." Rutilah mumbled, barely audible from the other side of the door.

"That's it, tell me who's the ingrate making dress like a Hylian! I bet you're trying a wig on, too, aren't you?!" Aryll shouted struggling with the door, which seemed to be locked.

Rutilah fell to the floor, worried that the door would open and she'd be found in a wig, skirt, and blue nightgown, instead the key fell out of the door's keyhole, she let out a sigh of relief and stared down at her feet. Black sock, white sock, a boot, and a red slipper covered them, she had no idea what she was doing, but she didn't see any problems in her reflection, "M-Maybe...?" Was all she could say in response to Aryll's oddly accurate accusation as she removed her wig and grabbed a hair accessory to put into it, "It's fine, though...I wanted to surprise some-" She froze as she heard a click.

Aryll had picked the lock and now pulled the door open to find a Zora who seemed to have just fallen into the clothes basket, "Oooh, Rutilah, you're going to surprise someone alright." She teased, holding out her hand, "Come on, you're a Zora, so be a Zora! If you have to act like something you're not just to make someone like you, then whoever it is you have your eyes on just isn't worth you...if he is worth the trouble of...of floundering around a closet then he'd be touched, but tell you that you can just be yourself...that you should be yourself."

"S-She..." Rutilah cleared her throat quietly, twirling an annoying strand of hair around her fingers. At first she wondered how Hylians dealt with hair, but it was pretty good at keeping her mind occupied.

"Huh?" Aryll stared at her curiously...maybe she misheard something, but it seemed Rutilah was sharing quite the revelation with her.

"She..." Rutilah muttered a bit more loudly, feeling even more warm than when she was trying to dress.

"Well...same rule applies, going to such trouble for someone is nice but...wouldn't it be sad if acting like a Hylian was the only reason someone loved you back? Whoever it is... _should_ tell you that...should feel that way about you..."

"Would you..." Rutilah asked, gazing up hopefully with watery eyes, "would you say that to me?"

"Rutilah..." Aryll breathed, offering her hands to the princess, who turned away and accepted Aryll's offer, "you were troubling yourself over me? I was worried it was for someone who wouldn't appreciate this, but I want you to be yourself...wasn't that the princess who I completed the Water Temple's priestess trial with? Who I had a riveting conversation about starfish with right afterwards?"

Rutilah chuckled softly as she nodded, "We were lucky it was a crab, that we didn't go up against a starfish!" She giggled, holding Aryll tightly.

"Yeah...we would've found a way out, though, you know that, right?" Aryll tugged Rutilah by the hand and took a step back, "Now let's get out of the closet?"

"Aww, no kiss?" Maple blurted, immediately covering her mouth with her hand...that was clutching an Aryll and Rutilah shipper shirt, on the shirt Aryll had the helm of a ship in hand, her right arm was outspread in a gesture meant to invite the Zora, who was floating on a torrent of water, watching her. Rutilah wore a sly smile as she leaned on the edge of the ship, wearing Aryll's hat.

"Arr, matey, seems there's a shipper on board." Aryll chuckled, making a hook with one finger while cover her eye with her other hand.

"Rutilah," Linkle announced sternly, pointing at the princess, "if you upset Aryll...well, I have a shovel, a flock of cuccos, and twin crossbows with rapid fire function, and that's _before_ I ran out of arrows!"

"Linkle! Sheesh, I just got her to agree to go on a date with me." Aryll groaned, "Don't scare her off...your shovel and crossbows aren't much to be afraid of, but crowing about how big your flock's gotten...? You're kinda embarrassing me..."

"Sorry, sorry!" Linkle held her hands up defensively as Aryll's pretend hook neared her, "I was just trying to be a good big sister and warn Rutilah-"

"Linkle, I think everyone here would agree, well, except Ronran, who we've only just met and would share little common background with," Maple held up her finger as she began, "that you are more the little sister in this situation...no matter what you say, no matter what you do, Aryll just won't let you be the responsible older sister..."

"You tried." Aryll shrugged, walking away, Rutilah's hand in hers, "We're gonna go have lunch now, right? After that we were gonna play Unspecific Heroes, we still on for that?"

Linkle, Zelda, and Maple exchanged uncertain glances before Zelda stepped forward, "Are you sure you two didn't want to eat at a separate table or something?"

"No...why would we? We're gonna play games, eat nachos, and develop so many duo attacks!" Aryll declared, winking at Rutilah, "Uh, you wanted to make a character too, right?"

"Right...I was hoping you wouldn't mind teaching me later." Rutilah admitted, leaving a pile of clothes on the floor before running after her girlfriend.

"I don't know why...but I have an odd feeling that those two will become the most powerful couple." Zelda sighed wistfully as she watched them run down the hall together, "I ship it like Gerudo Post."

"Yeah," Maple sighed, watching as Zelda unzipped her hoodie to reveal a Rutilah and Aryll shipper shirt, "that whole 'will they or won't they' business was starting to drive me crazy."

"My only question is...Rutyll or Artilah?" Zelda murmured as she led the others out of her room.

 **MANs: Really, that last thing is the most important question, now that the "will they or won't they" question was answered right before their eyes.**

* * *

 **Both  
**

Logging in only hours later, Zelda, Linkle, Maple, and Malron's avatars wandered around the player spawn point, Aryll's was also present, but didn't move at all, she and Rutilah were apparently discussing her character's name...only when Rutilah appeared did they realize that Aryll's character was named Artilah and Rutilah's character was named Rutyll, the two versions of the captain and Zora's ship name. The chat box was filled in seconds with cries of surprise, Aryll's amused "lol" was lost in the wave of words.

A player named "Drugged Thru Le Mire" passed by and asked what was so funny, when Linkle explained that the Pirate—Aryll—and the Mermaid—Rutilah—were friends from real life who were in love, and that their avatar's names were their ship names, the Overlord—Le Mire—responded with a lot of heart emojis.

"Heh, they don't even know us, and they ship it, too!" Zelda typed, making her Princess jump up and down gleefully, adding a little smiley face—as opposed to the medium or big smiley face.

"I might not know you guys, but you seem really chill, I might wander over to wherever you guys hang out sometimes." Le Mire replied, jumping up and down before suddenly disappearing.

"Welp, could've friended Drugged and added them to our party, but it looks like lagged killed their connection." Linkle observed, running around in a small circle, "And I finally used 'lag' in a sentence, yay! I've been wanting to do that for weeks now! Anyway, we should get you settled in now, Ruty."

Maple made an asterisk sandwich with a sigh and quickly followed up with, "I wish someone I knew would play this game, but he's not very social...and is probably too concerned with mission planning to spare time playing with people he doesn't know."

"Oooh, you mean that Sheikah!" Zelda inferred the most likely person to make plans for the Sheikah, "Ronran, right?"

"Right...I keep asking him to hang out with us, too." Maple added, "Guess he's just too busy..."

"Maple...do you have a crush on this guy?"

After a few moments of silence, Maple replied with a brief, "No." After a pause she added, "Anyways, he seems like he'd be a lot older than me anyways, so mellow and responsible...he seems troubled about the future but he's still got some since of humor, so that's good...but he still reminds me of someone for some reason...someone who also gives off this...shadowy feeling." Maple suddenly remembered that Ronran was blind, and that maybe his powers wouldn't work on a screen, she was about to point that out, but held down the backspace key instead. As a Sheikah, she had to get used to keeping secrets, leaking even a small detail seemed unprofessional, and her mentor didn't want even the other Sheikah to know, "Well, we should get Rutilah settled in now!"

And so they led the Zora to Erstedorf, and provided her with some back up against Argeber, who guarded the path to Zweitestadt, and then they fought some mobs until it was time to log off.

 **MANs: So, erste is first and dorf is village, arg is evil and eber is boar, and zweite is second and stadt is city/town, because I couldn't just call them the First Village, Evil Boar, and Second Town...also, the boar was the boss of the Erstedorf, a reference to the _other_ Dorf's boar power.**

* * *

 **Meanwhile, in Gerudo**

"Ganny-boo, dinner time!" One of the twins called from the kitchen, her voice reaching through the the stone walls of Ganondorf's room, just as he finished tinting his armor—which already looked like an Iron Knuckle's suit—and his helm, which concealed most of his character's face, aside from the eye slits that allowed other players to see the amber glow within.

"Yeah, in a minute!" Ganondorf shouted, grinning as he ran is character in a circle. One of his goals was finally complete...now he just needed a better weapon, but that could wait, right now he wanted to go back to the beginning area and see if he could collect a small army.

"Ganondorf!" It sound like both witches now, at the base of the stairs, their tempers short.

"Just five more minutes!" Ganondorf cried, as he stumbled across a group. It didn't feel like five minutes, he had just typed in, "Want to join-" when his computer suddenly shut off, he nervously craned his head to the right and saw Koume pressing down the power button, while Kotake dragged his chair away from the desk.

"Ganondorf...dinner's done." Kotake whispered, patting armored shoulders, "Koume worked hard on it, and I even made ice cream with my powers. Now come on, before the hot food cools and the cold food melts."

"But...but...I was just about to start my campaign to dominate the servers!" Ganondorf groaned, leaning back in his chair, a defeated frown on his lips as he crossed his arms.

"Oh, my, you're still such a child, Ganny-boo." Koume sighed, though not entirely upset, "Come along now, you can't dominate the servers on an empty stomach!"

"How right you are sister!" Kotake cried, following along excitedly, "Perhaps we can help him after dinner! You'll have to show us how it's done, Ganny-boo, but we'll support you however we can!"

Ganondorf couldn't fight his facial muscles as they twitched into a wide grin, and a steady stream of tears filled with joy poured down both his cheeks, "Moms...thank you so much!" The Evil King bounded out of his chair and ran downstairs, leaving the old witches to chuckle not so evilly to themselves as they followed him.

 **MANs: They may be evil and seek to bring utter ruin to the world, but they care so deeply about each other! It's...kinda heartwarming?**

* * *

 **No Biz Like...**

They were wandering through the woods, hoping to find the Eternal Springs Zelda learned about from Impa so long ago, when they were suddenly beset by monsters.

"One...two...three...just three bokoblins." Ronran shrugged, "Maple, this will be good training for you."

"Alright!" Maple turned around and ran towards the monsters, "Wandering Witch Waltz!" She shouted, but in her mind her voice echoed, and with her hands she reached for the shadows, _"Shadow Scissors, Slice!"_

Before she snip the troublesome trio, a shriek broke out from somewhere above her, prompting her to step back while she and the wary bokoblins searched the trees for the source of the sound, which promptly landed on one of the bokoblin's faces, startling them and Maple.

It was a monkey...with a grudge and a single green leaf on it's head. The primate ran horizontally onto the face of the next bokoblin, defying gravity as it made it's rounds, baffling the onlookers.

"Looks like this one has it under control." Rutilah observed, glancing down at the green clothed hero in her arms, "We might as well use this chance to slip by, I get the feeling that monkey would be angry if we 'stole' it's kills."

"I agree. You know, it's odd, but I feel like I've seen this particular monkey once upon a time...several different times." Zelda mused, walking past the three monsters getting their faces clobbered by the vengeful primate, "It's so odd, I'm pretty sure I've never seen it before in this life and this life is the only one I know...or is it?"

"Suspense!" Maple cried, running up to the leading princess and wiggling her fingers ominously, "But I get the feeling I've seen that monkey before, too...pretty sure the woods behind Kakariko don't have monkeys, though, so I couldn't have seen it and never fly to other woodlands where monkeys do live."

"I guess it just has one of those faces." Rutilah shrugged, glancing back down at Linkle, "For some reason it reminds me of her...but she's cuter than that monkey, isn't she? Yet...for some reason..."

"Of course she is!" Ronran cried, "She's the most beautiful girl in all the world, I must protect her no matter what! My dear Linkle, I shall love you from afar!" The Sheikah had everyone confused as it was, and doubled their confusion by striking a dramatic pose, on one knee Ronran laid a forearm on his forehead, bowed backwards and remained silent for a few seconds, "It's for a play I'm thinking about working on. It's called, 'The Cucco Shepherdess.'"

"Well, it certainly...sounds intense." Zelda remarked, "For a second there, I thought you knew Linkle from somewhere..."

"Hey, I got a question, is she a cucco shepherdess...or a shepherdess who's cucco?" Maple wondered, looking up at her mentor with a sly grin.

"Oh...haha, my apprentice, you are _so_ clever..." Ronran forced a toothy grin and tried to take deep, calming breaths, "Let me be clear so that there's _absolutely_ no misunderstanding...she's a shepherdess who watches over cuccos!"

"Nothing's scarier than a Sheikah with a crush— I mean play." Rutilah observed, shaken by just the aura of danger erupting under the ground that Ronran just happened to be walking on.

"Don't worry, there are probably lots of monsters up ahead for her to take out her anger on." Zelda assured, turning around when she didn't hear any footsteps, which meant no one was following her, "What, what's wrong? You guys look like you've seen a ghost...or like someone unwittingly revealed two major plot points at the same time, one of which the hypothetical 'audience' is aware of and we're not, and one that no one is aware of including ourselves."

"Um, it would be the former, right?" Rutilah asked, turning to the other two.

"Yes, of course, definitely the former!" Ronran cried.

Maple nodded so hard her hat almost fell off, "Right-o! The _latter_ one—I mean former one...!"

"Yup, the former!" Linkle added, "Whoops, I mean, I'm still asleep, please someone carry me, I cannot...go on...p-please...!"

"Linkle, I'll carry you!" Ronran screamed, only masking her voice over the high pitch she was using.

"But Rutilah has her, besides, if there's a forest fire she won't be able to go with me to protect any inhabitants that may or may not be suffering from the flames." Zelda pointed out, crossing her arms insistently.

"There won't be a-" Ronran was interrupted by panicked screams coming from further within the woods and held up her hands, "or maybe you're right somehow."

"Please, save us! There's fire everywhere!" A voice cried out.

"And monsters! Only people who have shadow powers could possibly save us now!" Another voice added.

"Hey, I'm here!" Aryll's voice shouted, instantly prompting the Zora, Sheikah, and witch to step forward and call out to her, though Ronran immediately pretended to have only stumbled forward.

Soon monsters rushed towards them...but stopped to gather around the bokoblins getting stomped, it was far more entertaining to them, so the let the heroes pass, and oddly enough, there were few monsters within to resist them.

 **MANs: Monkey business and show business, in one convenient place...Ronran _is_ an actor, in a manner of speaking.**

* * *

 **After the Fact**

Ronran took a deep breath and waved Zelda over, when the princess ran up to her, she cleared her throat, "Why did you say 'she' back there when referring to me?"

Zelda awkwardly chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck, "Oh, no reason in particular, certainly nothing to do with an act of my own once upon a time...keyword: Time."

"What does that even mean?" Ronran shook her head, "An act of your own...why is time so important to that statement? I mean, it's always important, but why take note of it after saying once upon a...time? Sheik-sempai, is that you?"

"What no?! Sheik who? There was never a Sheikah named Sheik! That would just be disrespectful to our people—they're people, I mean!" Zelda blurted frantically.

"Ah-ha, so it is you!" Ronran cried, pointing a finger at Zelda, "I've finally uncovered your secret identity, now I can...address you as Sheik?"

"Okay, okay, shhh...just keep it a secret to everyone, okay?" Zelda requested, "I don't want everyone calling me that, there are still many, many, many people who don't know that I disguised myself as a Sheikah once in another life."

"That's...generally the idea?" Ronran thought about this for a moment, and then nodded, "Technically everybody knows, yet at the same time...the people here don't know."

"The people...here. Yes, there's another world unlike this one, where people can sometimes catch glimpses of the things that go on in other universes, they watch...they live our memories." Zelda replied, pulling out a chair as she waxed philosophical, "Yet, how would our worlds exist here and now if they were unseen by these mysterious eyes and through what means do they experience our lives?"

"Perhaps our memories our pass exist eternally in our minds? As we recall whatever our own experiences are, they have access to the collective consciousness of the universe and take interest in those who's fates amuse them." Ronran paused a moment and took a sip of tea, "They are like gods."

"Gods...a world of them?"

"Indeed, but because there are so many of them, it likely has no significance to them," Zelda speculated, "so they turn to us for amusement or instruction..."

"Yes, that makes perfect sense! But how would they know of us, how to look into our pasts if they have no legends of us?"

"How indeed...they have no means of knowing about us, why not look into the lives of that one girl in Castle Town who works at that one cafe?"

"Maybe nothing of interest occurs in her world." Ronran sighed, "Unfortunately it doesn't matter why they peer into our lives, they cannot reach us or improve our situation."

Zelda and Ronran fell silent as they pondered over the things they discussed, and they completely forgot how they started this conversation in the first place.

 **Mini Author's Notes: Well, now they're aware of alternate game worlds and have an inkling of the real world...how soon until Ganondorf plots to invade our world?**

* * *

 **A Normal Person**

She just waited tables, that was her destiny...nothing important, not connected to anyone or anything of significance, she made comics in her spare time, but one day that changed forever.

Linkle's party went to the cafe, she couldn't remember what they ordered, but it was clear they were destined for greatness, they had the look of a ragtag group that would save everyone from some evil overlord through the power of friendship, a Hylian princess and a Zora princess, a ninja, a captain, a witch, and a ranger carrying a gold compass.

She admired them for half an hour, wondering what adventures they embarked on and where they would go next, and then...they were gone, but it was the cafe's finest half hour.

A few hours later it was reported that Ganondorf was an evil overlord, and that a giant beam of white light tore a hole into the Nopeverse and took him away, no one knew who opened the portal or how, but _she_ knew, the nameless waitress knew in the bottom of her heart that the treats she served that day granted special bonus effects to the heroes, and granted them just enough strength to win.

 **MANs: There, a glimpse into the life of that one girl from the cafe, just to make Zelda and Malron wonder why...not that they were even talking about a specific one.**


End file.
